Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Top 10 Reasons I'm Old

Today is my birthday, I'm 35. And despite my best efforts to rewind it back to age 24 a few years ago, the fact of the matter is...I'm old. WTF happened? Here is the Top 10 reasons I know I'm old:

#10. When I walk into a Hollister or Abercrombie, all the employees wonder who's Dad just walked in.

#9 I remember buying Motley Crue and Poison's first albums (cassette tapes.) Now they are considered classic rock.

#8. I'm in the worst shape of my life, by far. And my liver....well it's just pissed at me.

#7. My favorite shows are no longer on TV, even in syndication.

#6. My Ipod playlist titled "New Stuff" is a collection of late 90's and early 00's songs.

#5. I'm older than every Redskins player except for 3. (the red snapper, Todd Collins, and Phillip Daniels, who shares by B-day!) I'm older than a couple of their coaches!

#4. I say things like "when I was growing up," or "it seems like yesterday," or "that was 10 years ago?"

#3. When my parents and uncles were 35, I thought they looked ancient. Now I think they look pretty damn good.

#2. In order to see my favorite bands in concert, they have to be on a reunion tour.

#1. I still have Suzanne Somers in my spank bank.

Cheers and Hail

3 comments:

rfk4ever said...

happy birthday pickle!

porkboy said...

you are sooooooooo old !! man oh man how does it feel to be so damm old ?...... happy birthday fat pickle !! to the coolest guy i know ! have a great day !

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday old man! Good thing your wife (and her friends) look so good because I am pretty sure your game is totally gone now! I would insert some sort of bet/contest here but I think that would get both of us in trouble! Love ya! H