Tuesday, December 30, 2008

NFL 2008 Recap

Fatpickle's 2008 NFL Awards

Coach of the year - Mike Smith - Atlanta Falcons

He gets the nod over another rookie head coach, Tony Sparano. Smith did it with a rookie starting at QB and a team that was still reeling from the Michael Vick fiasco.

Honorable Mention - Sparano, Jeff Fisher

MVP - Chad Pennington - Miami Dolphins

He led his team to the biggest turnaround in the history of the NFL, and he wasn't with them till the beginning of training camp. More on Pennington later.

Honorable Mention - Peyton Manning, Adrian Peterson,

Rookie of the Year - Matt Ryan - Atlanta Falcons

A starter from day 1 he led his team to 11 wins and a playoff victory. Chris Johnson was a difference maker, but Ryan was a leader.
Honorable Mention - Johnson, Slaton


Pennington - He truly was standing on top of the world Sunday night. He beats the team who cut him after playing his heart out for them for 8 seasons. He beats the man whom they casted him aside for. He beats them in NY. And he did it with class.

Rookie QB's -Ryan and Flacco played admirably and have their teams in the playoffs.

Rookie Head Coaches - Smith, Ryan, and Harbaugh led their teams to the playoffs. Zorn was 8-8.

Matt Cassel - After 7 seasons of zero playing time (college and pros) he steps right into Brady's shoes and wears them well. A huge payday awaits.

Antonio Bryant - Off the scrap heap he delivers a career season, a huge payday awaits. BUYER BEWARE

Bill Cowher - He might be the first NFL coach to make 10 million a year.


Team collapses - Broncos, Jets, Bucs, Cowboys, and Redskins. All of these teams had the playoffs in their hands before fumbling them away.

Brett Favre - He totally alienated himself from his fans in Green Bay to come back and lead the NFL in interceptions. Oh yeah, he got his Coach fired.

Al Davis - Hand over the keys.

Ocho Cinco - Is this Spanish for "I suck?" His stats look like a second string TE's.

Mike Martz - Fired for the 3rd time in 3 years. How do you say pompass ass in Spanish?

Cheers and Hail

Monday, December 29, 2008

The NFL - That's The End Of The 4th Quarter

Coming this week to Fatpickled:

Tuesday - NFL 2008 Recap

Wednesday - Redskin's 2008 Report Card

Thursday - 2009 Athletes and Professional Teams Resolutions

Friday - NFL Playoff Predictions For Week 1

Saturday - 6 Degrees Of Fatpickled

Today, let's take a look out how I fared in my halftime NFL playoff picks.

NFC My pick Week 8 Actual

#1 Giants Giants

#2 Panthers Panthers

#3 Cards Vikings

#4 Vikings Cards

#5 Skins Falcons

#6 Eagles Eagles

NOT BAD, 5 out of 6 right (The one I missed stings a little)

AFC My pick Week 8 Actual

#1 Titans Titans

#2 Patriots Steelers

#3 Steelers Dolphins

#4 Ravens Chargers

#5 Colts Colts

#6 Jets Ravens

NOT BAD, 3 out of 6 right, but could have been 6 for 6 if things had turned out differently Sunday.

Cheers and Hail

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Wizards Aren't The Worst Team Ever

In a match up pitting 2 teams with the worst records ever to meet each other, the Wizards came away with a win. This brings the Wiz's season record to 5-23, last in the Eastern Conference. Amazingly, they are only 7.5 games out of the final playoff spot. If they can play well enough until Gilbert Arena's comes back, who knows, Playoffs? I don't think so. My advice would be to bring back Arenas very slowly and start playing for ping-pong balls.
While we ponder how things got so bad, so fast, here are some highlights of the good old days.

Cheers and Hail

Monday, December 22, 2008

If My Aunt Had Nuts...She'd Be My Uncle

The Redskins would be in the Playoffs if...

If the Skins win @ home against a St. Louis team that won 2 games all year.

If Josh Brown misses the 49 yard FG.

If we had a punter all year long like the one we had the last few weeks.

If we didn't have a Kicker like the one we had the last few weeks.

If the Skins beat a Cincy team that won 3 games all year.

If it didn't take 15 games to figure out how to use Jason Taylor.

If it didn't take 15 games for Randle El to take his first step forward after fielding a punt, instead of left or right or backwards.

If the Skins could have capitalized on turnovers and scored in the redzone against the Steelers or Cowboys.

If every set of downs on Offense didn't go like this:

1rst down - 3 yard out to Cooley

2nd down - run with Portis

3rd down - slant to Moss

If we give the ball to Portis against Cincy on 1rst and goal, or 2nd, or 3rd.

If any of our first 3 draft picks of 2008 would have produced on the field.




I could go on and on, but whats the point? The bottom line is this, the NFC East is the best Division in the NFL and there is a fine line between a 10-6 record or a 6-10 record. Normally the difference is just a few plays over the course of a 16 week season. The fact is the Skins just didn't make those plays.

So where do we go from here? Well, the off season starts soon that is normally filled with lots of drama and new found hope. I for one love my team more than ever and will be ready to ride the emotional roller coaster again next season.

Besides we are going to win the Super Bowl next year, if ......

Cheers and Hail

Friday, December 19, 2008

Will The O's Land Teixeira?

This is my take on the whole Teixeira sweepstakes, probably way wrong but here is what I think is going on. Obviously smokescreens are being set everywhere. We don't know exactly who has a serious offer on the table or who is in, who is out? Are the Red Sox really out, or are they just working Boras? Are the Yankees going to come to the table with ridiculous money? Does he play near his home in MD, but not for the O's but for the Nationals? Does he stay with the Angels?

No, I think he signs with the Orioles. When the Orioles made an initial offer to Boras to show they are in the ballgame, that was all I needed to see. I believe that the Orioles will have the right to match any offer. I think Boras is out trying to get a $200 million dollar contract for Tex, because it's his job, but ultimately he will not get the $200 million. He will probably get the 8 year $185 million that is being reported in the press. I believe Teixeira will then ask him to see if the Orioles will match it, because Baltimore is where he wants to be. Baltimore probably will not match it however, they will probably offer around 1-1.5 million less per year. At this point Tex will have to decide if wants to play for Baltimore at a "hometown discount," or play for Boston. Whats 21 million per compared to 22 million? He chooses Baltimore (it may take an opt-out clause after 3 years, based on how competitive the Orioles are.)

The Orioles then need to sign Nick Markakis to a 6 year 75 million contract to lock him up. Committing $250 million dollars is a lot, but you'll be set for the future. Tex, Markakis, Matt Weiters, and Adam Jones form an awesome nucleus to build around.
Here is a tentative lineup for 2009.
1 - Roberts .297-9-57 40SB 107R
2 - Jones .290 -9-57
3 - Markakis .306 -20-87
4 - Teixeira .308 -33-121
5 - Huff .304-32-108
6 - Mora .285-23-104
7 - Weiters .355-27-91 (minors)
8 - Scott .257-23-65
9 - Izturis .263-1-24 24SB

That lineup will hang with anyone, now the pitching on the other hand......
I'm anxious to see how it turns out, I feel strongly that I am right on this. We should know by Christmas.

Cheers and Hail

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Slinging Sammy R.I.P.

Well I've probably seen 1,000 articles about Sammy Baugh's death today, here is 1,001. Rather than write another article about his death, I'm just going to list some of accomplishments and interesting facts.

Played 16 seasons for the Skins, taking them to 5 Championships and 2 Titles.

Even though he has not played in 57 seasons, he was recently voted as the greatest Redskin's QB in history!

187 Passing TD's still a Redskins record.

Charter member of the NFL Hall of Fame, and fittingly the last living member from the inaugral year.

Didn't just go both ways, he played all 3 ways and led the League in Passing, Punting, and Interceptions in 1943.

Refused to leave practice until he completed 100 straight passes!

Liked to spit tobacco and cuss.

Played his entire career without a facemask!

His #33 is the only jersey retired by the Redskins.

Warren Buffett wrote him a letter telling him what an inspiration he was!

Once threw 4 TD's and intercepted 4 passes in the same game!

Spent $200 on a 7,600 acre farm (now 20,000 acres.)

Voted by the NFL Network as the Most Versatile Player in NFL history.
Cheers and Hail

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Just Another Sunday Night

Mrs. Pickle's Diary
Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset? He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too.
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep-I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Fatpickle's Diary

Today the Redskins lost, but at least I got laid.
Cheers and Hail

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Look It's Billy Bob Thornton

Sam Bradford

Ba Ba Booey

Kenny Chesney
Sean Payton

Cheers and Hail

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Oohhh Mmaaannnn!!!!!

This is Corey Hill from UFC Fight Night 16. He's got one hell of a leg on him. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach, nor look at the picture below. Cheers and Hail

Mr. Snyder, Your Steak Is Ready

I said "keep it medium!"

It seems as though Jim Zorn might be cooking himself right out of a job. Mr. Snyder likes his steak "medium" and Zorn right now is "medium well." If Zorn doesn't win out, he may just be "well-done."
Just 5 weeks ago everything was good. Zorn was just perfect. A coach of the year candidate, the West Coast offense was clicking, and Portis was the league's MVP. Zorn was riding bikes around DC with the President. Since then the Skins have gone 1-4 (including 0-3 at home), and the Offense has disappeared, averaging a mere 10 pts per game. Having a public spat with said MVP candidate was not a good thing. If Zorn was not happy with Portis and his practice participation, it should have been handled in the 40 hours a week they spend together at Redskins Park. It should not have played out on the field of a "must win" game on national TV. Zorn loves to get in front of the media and talk too much about things that should be kept in the locker room, he seems to pride himself on his communication. Is he not communicating like this in the locker room with his players?
Now word is circulating that Zorn needs to win out to save his job. I'm pretty sure that if Mr. Snyder's steak leaves a bad taste in his mouth, he's going to send it back. So we'll have to wait and see if Zorn and Bush ride off into the sunset together.

Maybe do some fishing.

The truth is I hope Zorn is the coach of the Redskins next season (even though I am less than pleased right now). If Zorn is the coach next season, it will have meant the Skins made the Playoffs this year. This is my hope. I'm still medium.

Cheers and Hail

Monday, December 8, 2008

Once You Get Past The Smell You Got It Licked


The Wonderlic Personnel Test is a twelve-minute, fifty-question intelligence test used to assess the aptitude of prospective employees for learning and problem-solving in a wide range of occupations. That definition came from Wikipedia. The Wonderlic is also known as a test that every prospective NFL player takes at the NFL Combine. Some teams take a lot of stock into the scores, others do not. One thing is for sure, if you score low on the test it will stick with you forever. I thought it would be cool to match up the "smarter" players against the "dumber" players. There are rules to this game and other important info to consider:

#1 In order to be selected to the "Smart Asses" a score of 25+ is required.

#2 In order to be selected to the "Dumb Asses" a score of 15- is required.

#3 A score of 10 is considered the "Dexter Line." 10 is considered literate.

#4 A score of 20 is considered a 100 IQ = the average person.

#5 Don't forget about book smarts, or in this case football smarts.

#6 The average score for the position will appear after the position abbreviation.

#7 I have done my very best to research the scores, however I cannot verify that they are 100% accurate.

#9 Active Players only, Defense will come another day.

Smart Asses

QB(24) E. Manning 39, Romo 37, A. Rodgers 35

RB(16) M. Turner 35, S. Jackson 28, R. Grant 26

WR(17) V. Jackson 33, L. Evans 27, B. Edwards 27

TE(22) B Watson 41, H. Miller 39,Cooley 32

Dumb Asses

QB Mcnabb 14, Garrard 14, V. Young 15

RB Gore 6, K. Jones 15

WR C. Henry 9, Manningham 6

TE Winslow 12, Troupe 15

The Smart Asses are coached by Max Cady. They can out learn you, out read you, out think you, and out philosophy you.

Cheers and Hail

The Six Degrees Of Fatpickled

Every Monday I will post 6 links to things I find entertaining. Here's what I've been looking at today.

Here's a reason to eat organic foods (If the little man doesn't reach his full potential we can blame it on sausage and velveeta)

This is a must every Monday Morning (Peter King finds a way to piss me off every week, but it's also insightful and entertaining)

Cheers and Hail!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Fantasy Thoughts Of The Week (that don't include Audrina Patridge)


It's playoff time in Fantasy Football land, and hopefully your team is in the playoffs. I've made the playoffs in all of my leagues, but I'm not feeling too confident. Bad decisions and bad trades have doomed the Fatpickles and the 22 Swinging Dicks.
This is the time of year where you have really great Sundays, or really shitty ones. I mean it really sucks if the team you root for and your fantasy team get knocked out of the playoffs on the same day. I sure hope that doesn't happen, it's a double whammy! And if you are a gambler and have a bad day on top of this, oh man! You'll be in the dumps till Christmas. But I am forever an optimist and I hope everyone reading this is a winner come Sunday!
My Studs this week are all guys that were on my team, but I traded them away. I cannot believe how bad these trades have become (for me). I'm hoping by labeling them Studs they will actually become Duds this weekend!
Aaron Rodgers - I traded Rodgers for Jay Cutler several weeks ago. Cutler has been good, but Rodgers has been better.
Shaun Hill - I traded Shaun Hill for Brady Quinn. I wanted Quinn (a backup at the time) forgetting the fact that Hill was a starter for a Mike Martz's Offense. Quinn is out for the year!
D'Angelo Williams - I traded Williams for Joseph Addai. At the time Williams was in a time share with Stewart, since the trade he is the #1 RB in Fantasy Football! Addai hasn't done much and hurt himself again in practice this week, he's questionable for Sunday!
Marques Colston - I traded Colston for Vincent Jackson. After drafting Colston in the 4th round, he missed 6 weeks with a broken finger. I traded him and he is now playing like a top tier WR. Oh yeah, I didn't start Jackson Thursday Night! 5rec/148yds/59yd TD
Chad Johnson - I traded him for Derek Anderson. Johnson hasn't done much, but Anderson immediately lost his job and when he regained it, he blew out his knee. He is out for the year.
Oh well, if I lose I'll have more time to work on my sales technique!

Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Hall Of Shame

I'm Livin the dream, how can I f**k it up?

Plaxico Burress is the latest in a long line of professional athletes who have found a way to "ruin a wet dream." Many athletes have squandered their fame and fortune, and they have found many different ways to do so. I have compiled my own little Hall of Shame, complete with categories documenting their downfall.

I do have to admit that I am guilty of some of these. When I go out I hit the ATM and get plenty of cash, usually my fast cash option of 60 bucks. Because when I'm out at my local pub, I may want to make it rain while I'm eating my corned beef sandwich. And I usually bring my numchucks in case someone starts hassling me while I'm playing Golden Tee.

My Hall of Shame Team,
I want to use my signing bonus or last 50 grand I have in the bank to make a drug deal club:
Travis Henry - After screwing up a 5 year/22.5 mil deal with the Broncos, Henry decided to become "the ruthless money guy in a cocaine trafficking ring."
Jamal Lewis - In the prime of his career he decided to help a few buddies work up a drug deal, causing him to lose millions and spend some time in the clink.
Nate Newton - I love this story. 5 weeks after getting arrested for having 213 lbs of pot in his van, Newton was arrested again. This time he only had the van loaded down with 175lbs!
Timmy Smith - After rushing for 204 yds in Super Bowl XXII against the Broncos, Timmy retired to Denver. I'm not sure if he knows Travis Henry, but they both live in the Denver area and deal cocaine.
I don't deal drugs, I abuse them club:
Dwight Gooden - Suspended multiple times as coke and alcohol derailed a potential HOF career.
Darryl Strawberry - see Dwight Gooden above.
Dexter Manley - One of the greatest DE's ever, he could never stay away from the crack, and was banned from the NFL.
Travis Henry - Suspended by the NFL multiple times for using drugs and yes he also deals them!
I made millions in my career but spent millions more club:
Evander Holyfield - Still boxing after making 250 million, creditors are lined up!
Mike Tyson - How much money does Don King have?
Travis Henry - "He doesn't have any money. The guy has significant financial issues." A quote from Henry's lawyer.
This club is the bomb, I think I'm gonna bust a cap up in this bitch club:
Tank Johnson -Had enough guns and ammo at his house to film Die Hard 5.
Plaxico Burress - I play for the Giants and I'm going to a club in Manhattan. I'm worried that people might not know who I am, so how can I draw attention to myself? I know, I'll wear a couple hundred grand worth of jewelery and bring thousands of dollars in cash. I better bring a gun.
Maurice Clarett - After getting "his goose on" with the Broncos, Clarett was arrested for armed burglary and had 5 loaded weapons in his car. And a bottle of Grey Goose.
Smack my bitch up club:
Mike Tyson - arrested for rape
Lawrence Phillips - do not date this man
Riddick Bowe - kidnapped wife and kids
The degenerate drunk gambler club (also known as the white man's club):
Art Schlichter - has lied, cheated, and stole his entire life due to his addiction to gambling.
John Daly - has never found a bar, casino, or Hooters that he hasn't liked. Claims to have lost at least 50 million gambling!
Denny Mclain - The last MLB pitcher to win 30 games, he has all kinds of issues like drug trafficking, embezzlement, and racketeering.
Pete Rose - So he had a gambling problem, this is Charlie Hustle, he deserves to be in the Hall!
The I'm gonna pull out this time club:
Evander Holyfield - 11 childen
Travis Henry - 9 children by 9 different women, by the age of 28!
Shawn Kemp - 7 children by 6 women
There are many more categories, and many, many more dumb asses who have flushed it all away. But can we find a better face for our Hall of Shame than this guy?

I'm not only a member, I'm also the President.

Cheers and Hail

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Fatpickle? Really?

So as my family, friends, and strangers visit this blog the question is "Fatpickle?" Who or what is Fatpickle? I'm going to try to explain in this post.First of all I'd like to continue to let the legend grow, but it doesn't pertain to a part of my anatomy. No, if that was the case the blog would be titled Averagepickle (Rebecca this is where you post a message saying that I am being modest, and that I am HUGE!).
I had a friend named Brian in college that would always say "that's fat like a pickle". I enjoyed the saying and used it often. Somehow it got shortened to fatpickle, and one day I filled out an office pool and put Fatpickle down as my name. At the time, Porkboy46 (aka Fulltip) and I were roommates in Baltimore, working for this guy. I soon became "Uncle Pickle" to Porkboy's wonderful daughter. From this point it snowballed. My fantasy football team is Fatpickles.
Fatpickle receives mail. He gets store catalogs, applications for credit, and has been a loyal subscriber to Sports Illustrated since the mid 90's. Fatpickle also gets phone calls from telemarketers. Example phone call:

"Hello is this Mr......Pickle?"

"Uh, giggle..Mr. Pickle...giggle.. I am calling you today to tell you...blah, blah, blah"

Fatpickle has been around 13 years now, I'm not even sure if I am talking about myself in the 3rd person?
Maybe Fatpickle can be my Randall Stevens, start applying for those lines of credit. Get that nest egg together and Mrs. Pickle and I will head to Zihuatanejo. I understand Fatpickle is a man who knows how to get things.

Cheers and Hail!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Shot Through The Leg And I'm To Blame

I give myself a bad name.

Let me start off by saying I am not making light of a man getting hurt or shot. No, I would never wish that upon anyone nor make fun of it. I've spent the past week thinking about Sean Taylor, and how we lost him to an act of violence involving a gun. However, I will make fun of stupidity.

Plaxico Burress has shot himself in the leg. He went clubbing with a gun in his pocket. "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" Now I don't know about you, but I prefer not to hang out at places where I may need a weapon. I also don't think I would be comfortable with a loaded weapon inches from my junk! The official word is that Plaxico shot himself in the right thigh. Depending on how I am sitting or standing, my right thigh is in the same zip code as you know what. If I'm gonna throw a gun in my pants pocket, I'm gonna make sure I have visited the gun range a few times. Maybe have the safety on? Of course Plaxico doesn't practice, and tries to avoid safeties.

Now from here you can make up your own Giants jokes. Their playoff chances are shot. Why do they keep shooting themselves in the foot?

Or, since I brought up junk and guns, make up your own dick jokes. It's my shower, my soap, and my dick, so I'll wash it as fast and as long as I want to. I was just cleaning it when it went off in my hand.

Whatever, stupid stuff is funny.

Cheers and Hail!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Remembering Sean

Remembering Sean

I was watching a Skin's game a couple of weeks ago and I was wearing my Sean Taylor 75th Anniversary Jersey (happens to be my favorite out of my collection). I was enjoying all the stress and excitement of the game when my 4 year old son asked me a question.
"Daddy, who's jersey is this?"
"This is Sean Taylor's jersey," I replied.
My son then walked up to the TV and stood in front of it, his nose only inches from the screen. He stared intently at the TV for a few seconds as I asked him as politely as I can (while watching a Skin's game) to please move out of the way.
"But Daddy, which one of those guys is Sean Taylor?"
After stumbling around for a couple seconds I came up with,
"Sean's not playing today."
Wow, how could I answer that? It's a life and death question that he is not ready for, and quite frankly, maybe I'm not either. But that simple answer is not enough.

I remember so many things about Sean. I remember how excited I was that they picked him over Kellen Winslow. Excited, because I felt Taylor was a once in every ten years type of difference maker. An added bonus to this scenario brought my favorite player to the Redskins in the 3rd round.
I remember how he intercepted a pass and returned it for a TD in his very first pre-season game. It was the Hall of Fame game against the Broncos, and Joe Gibbs's first game back.
I remember how his teammates nicknamed him "Meast", because he was part man-part beast.
I remember how he may have been the best running back at the University of Miami, but he played Safety. Frank Gore, Willis Mcgahee, and Clinton Portis were the teams RB's.
I remember how he scored a TD in the Eagles game in 2005 to clinch a playoff birth, then scored another TD in the Bucs game to seal a playoff victory.
I remember how Receivers feared going across the middle against him. No, they feared him wherever they were on the field.
I remember hearing that he got shot, and that he was clinging to life. It seemed so surreal.
I remember thinking he was so strong, he was going to pull through, but I guess God had a better plan for him.
I remember the media reporting bogus reports, implying that this was somehow Sean's fault, some sort of retaliation for something Sean did.
I remember for a split second thinking what the media reported.
I remember the media not recanting their bogus stories. I myself am sorry for my momentary lapse in thought.
I remember thinking how there was no way the Skins would lose the following week against the Bills. They did, but then rallied as a team to make the playoffs.
I remember learning just who Sean was. The person, the teammate, the friend, companion, and father.

I remember it all, and I will continue to remember.

And some day, when my son and I are ready, I'm going to tell him all about Sean Taylor.

Monday, November 24, 2008

A Redskins Win Would Be A Giant Step

Breaking down the Skins/Giants Game

The Redskins do not need to win this Sunday to make the Playoffs. Sure a loss will make it that much harder to do so, but the season is not lost on this weeks game. No, the Redskins need to win this weekend to re-cement their status as a legitimate contender.
It pains me to say this but the Giants are the best team in the NFL. I assumed last year was a fluke and that the Giants, along with Eli Manning, would tumble back down to earth this year. As of now, I have to admit that I was wrong. The Giants are playing like a Championship team and Eli continues to play at a high level. The Redskins on the other hand have stumbled after winning 4 in a row. A loss to the Rams, 2 ugly wins over bad teams, and 2 ugly losses to good teams. The win on the road against Seattle was a good win. As bad as the Seahawks have been this year, that is a tough place to travel to and win. Now the Skins get to take on the Giants at FedEx. So far this season the Skins have not been able to take advantage of home field advantage, going just 3-3 at FedEx. We've also had a problem with opposing team's fans taking over our house. That cannot happen this week! The fans need to be loud, strong, a true 12th man. The Giants are scoring 30 points a game, so the Skins need to score at least 3TD's and not settle for FG's. I anticipate the Giants loading up the box to stop Portis, so Campbell will need to get the ball to Cooley and Moss. Applying pressure to Manning and stopping the run will be focal points of the defense. Burress is out, so that is helpful.
The "experts" are not giving the Redskins a chance this weekend. In fact, the Skins are getting NO RESPECT. I believe the Redskins do win. I think they do what good playoff-type teams do, win games at home against division rivals. And when the team you beat happens to be the Super Bowl champs and the best team in the NFL, it will earn you respect.
So to the Skins I say, "go get you some."

Cheers and Hail

Look, It's Billy Bob Thornton Part III

Tony Romo

Paul Rudd

One of these guys is a pretty good football player, the other is the QB for the Cowboys. They do have 1 thing in common, they each have the same amount of playoff wins.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

New Road Sign For Cooperstown

Is Mike Mussina a Hall of Famer? That seems to be a popular question this week with the announcement of Mussina's retirement. Well, my answer to that is a resounding YES!
Full disclosure, Mike Mussina is my favorite pitcher of all-time. Even after he left the O's to play for the "evil empire", I still found myself pulling for Moose. Mike debuted in late 1991 and was a full blown star by 1992. I was pitching in college during this time. My motion and mannerisms were patterned exactly after Moose. In my mind, I looked exactly like him. Some 15 years later, I was still imitating his pitching motion while I played in a fantasy camp, my real baseball career long over. Moose, on the other hand was still busy winning 15 games or more a year for the Yankees.
Mussina won 20 games last year for the first time in his career. He was certainly cheated of a couple more 20 win seasons. Strike shortened seasons, blown saves, and pop-ups that found there way into the left field seats at Camden Yards. Mike pitched for 18 seasons in the AL East. 18 seasons with a DH. At least 10 seasons dominated by steroids and another 10 at Camden Yards. Moose could easily hang around a couple more seasons and get to 300 wins, which is an immediate ticket into Cooperstown. But, he's walking away. He could chase the 300 wins and probably make 25 million doing so. He could also chase that ring that I wish he had, but he's walking away on top, and on his own terms. I admire that.

So, we have to judge the numbers that are in the book. I've looked at them, I've lived them, and they work for me. Enjoy your retirement Moose, you will be missed.
Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Reason #1,321 Not To Bet On Football

Mix in a failed hook and ladder play with a touchdown that is ruled a touchdown, confirmed to be a touchdown, then somehow is no longer a touchdown, and what do have? 66 million lost by the poor bastards who had the Steelers minus 4.5pts. I don't gamble on football any longer but if I did, I would have had the Steelers. Not because I thought the Steelers were going to cover, I didn't even know the line until the next day after researching it. No, I would have had the Steelers because this is the type of shit that happens to a team I gambled on.

This game did give me a terrible flashback to Monday Sept 22, 1997. The Steelers were getting 2.5 pts against the Jags. After holding the Jags to a late field goal, the Steelers got the ball back inside 2 minutes trailing 21-23. This was all good as I had the Steelers plus 2.5pts. The Steelers lined up for a last second field goal. No big deal, I don't care if they make it or miss it. I'm a winner, winner, chicken dinner. The only thing that could make me a loser is if the Jags block the FG with no time left and return it for a touchdown. That will never happen. Oops. This was the famous clip you see where Cowher almost tackled the defender on the sideline. I always wondered if I would have still lost that bet if Cowher had actually tackled Chris Hudson?

Cheers and Hail

Sunday, November 16, 2008

This Is Kind Of Cooley

The Chris Cooley Interview
During the Redskins bye week I flew up to my old stomping grounds in Northern VA. Over a couple of beers at the Ashburn Pub, I interviewed Chris Cooley. OK... the interview didn't exactly go down that way, Chris answered my questions thru a series of emails. The beer will come at a later date when I show Chris and Tanner who the real king of bar Olympics is. Here is my exclusive with CC.
FP: They’re filming a major motion picture “The Chris Cooley Story”, which actors play these roles?
CC: Chris- I was Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds for Halloween, so probably that guy.
Tanner- Probably have to say….Omar Epps
Christy- We would make Jessica Alba dye her hair and she could play Christy
Zorn- Steve Largent
Dan Snyder- Tom Cruise

FP: Who would you say that you are more like, Harry or Lloyd? Why?
CC: Obviously I am more like Harry, just look at us.

FP: Have you or a teammate ever been laid on the 50 yd line @ FedEx field?
CC: I can’t speak for anyone else on the team, but I have never done such a thing at FedEx.

FP: Do you have any superstitions that you do on game days?
CC: I don’t really have any superstitions but I still get stupid pre-game jitters. This is like the 15th game this year of being nervous. It’s probably awesome for my health.

FP: Ben Roethlisburger is upset that Redskin’s cheerleaders stretch in front of the visiting teams locker room. What kind of stuff do other teams pull when you are at their stadium?
CC: In Dallas they turn off the AC in our locker room so its always about 90 degrees in there when we’re getting ready.

FP: Are you any good @ bar Olympics? (foosball, darts, pool etc?)
CC: I am amazing at bar Olympics. I have a dart board, pool table, air hockey, and ping pong in my basement. Unstoppable.

FP: I want to wear a cup when I’m playing wiffleball with my 3 year old, why don’t NFL players wear cups? You got helmets, elbows and knees flying around your junk.
CC: Its just not comfortable to run in a cup. I have never taken a big shot down there in all of high school, college, or the NFL. So why start now?

FP: What is your biggest fear?
CC: I’m not really afraid of anything. I don’t like super natural things.

FP: When you and Tanner came up with the idea for the blog, did you imagine that it would be this popular? (1.7 million hits in 8 months).
CC: When we started this we didn’t have any goals or expectations. We just did it to have fun and that’s what we’ve been doing ever since.

FP: My blog is getting 20-30 hits per day, compared to your 20,000 per, would you consider posting a picture of your right nut on my blog for a couple hours?
CC: Take a picture of your own nut and see the boost it gets. If your still at 20-30 after that….

FP: You are in a Fantasy Football League with other Skins players who don’t know a damn thing about Fantasy Football. Are you playing in any other leagues that are more competitive?
CC: I’m too busy to keep up on more than one league right now. I wish I had time cause I love fantasy sports but I just don’t.

FP: This is a long standing debate in our household, Aerosmith or Van Halen?
CC: Both awesome…Van Halen (yeah!)

FP: You’re an avid collector of sports cards, what is the one card in your collection that you could never part with?
CC: I have a John Elway rookie that I’ve had since I was ten. Its still in the screw down case that I got the day I bought the card for 4 dollars. That’s one you won’t see on Ebay.

FP: What does it say on your tombstone?
CC: Nothing special man. What ever my kids want to throw on there will probably be cool.

FP: Describe what the Dallas/Redskins rivalry means to you. Did Gibbs and Buges do a great job of instilling the history of this rivalry into the players?
CC: All of the NFC East opponents are tough. But for some reason I hate Dallas more than any other team in the NFL. Gibbs and Bugle are great coaches but they didn’t have to do any work making this more of a rivalry. It is just one of those natural things.

I want to thank Chris for taking the time to answer a bunch of stupid questions from a random fan who follows his blog (nice way of saying "borderline stalker"). I also want to thank Tanner Cooley, whom I've never met, yet always goes above and beyond for me. Thank you both, you guys are "BADASS".

Cheers and Hail

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Hail To The Burgundy And Gold

Having been a fan of the Redskins for over 30 years I have seen a lot of players come and go. With the salary cap, free agency, and the fact the average NFL player's career only lasts 4 season, players are gone before you know it.
So when it comes down to it, we root for colors. Maybe you root for the blue and orange, the silver and blue, or the silver and black. I look good in burgundy and gold. The names on the backs of the jersey's may change each year, but the colors, they are forever.
Once in a while we are lucky enough to have a few special players strap on the burgundy and gold. Players that leave a mark in our memories, and in our hearts. Players like Riggins, Theismann, Manley, Clark, Coleman, Butz, Green, Monk, The Hogs, Portis, Cooley, and Taylor.
And once in a while, the 53 guys wearing the burgundy and gold are truly a team. The 2008 Washington Redskins are a team, not 53 individuals. I believe that more than I can ever remember, dating back to the glory days. The Dallas Cowboys are in trouble! With all the I love me some me and pointing of fingers, they can't compete with this TEAM.

Like George Allen would say "With 53 men playing together, we can't lose!"
Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Fatpickle: I Heart The Redskins

I am 34 years old and I have spent all my life building a relationship with the Redskins. To say we have had our ups and downs would be an understatement. But in the end, they are my oldest and dearest friend. Here is a little history of our relationship.

My oldest memories of the Skins date back to the late seventies. I’m not sure how I remember the games from that era, as I was only 5 years old. My Grandmother owned a bar in Herndon, VA around this time. Pictures of the Skins hung throughout the walls, and lots of Skins were customers. My Grandmother moved to another bar in the early 80’s. I would hang around the bar, as guys such as Riggins, Jacoby, Grimm, and others hung out curling 12 ounces. Another fond memory of this era was the open tryout my uncle “Mo Joe” attended while George Allen was coach. Mo is about 5’9” 260. He decided to try out for the Over the Hill Gang as a punter. The legend is that uncle Mo really got his foot into one, so much so that he lost the flight of the football. The tryout came to an end after the football landed a couple yards behind him. No “Invincible” moment there.
The glory years of the Skins, and my full blown love affair took place in the 82-92 seasons. 4 Super Bowls, 3 Titles, life was good. You got the feeling that it would be this good forever. This was along the time that I switched from hanging out in the bars (until later in life) and moved directly to Redskin's Park. My mom would drop me off at Redskins Park and pick me up later in the day after she got off work. I met and got autographs from all the players, media, and even retired players like Charley Taylor and Sonny Jurgenson.

I also got to do cool things like toss the Football with Mark Rypein, Ricky Sanders, and Gary Clark. I can still remember like it was yesterday hitting Ricky on a post pattern. Many of the players were awesome, I do remember some that were not. It’s amazing that I spent many days at Redskins Park, but I never saw Joe Gibbs. I guess he was always hard at work. My favorite memory by far was the day that I snuck onto the field and filmed practice. It was Super Bowl week before the Denver game in 87. Gibbs was always worried about spies, so I’m unsure how I was able to film 10 minutes of practice before getting kicked out. I later got the chance to ask Dexter Manley what he was going to do to John Elway in the Super Bowl. “I’m gonna kill him” Dexter replied. Sorry Cooley Bros.

I am lucky enough to be married to the greatest Wife and Mom in the world. Rebecca and I were high school sweethearts and we have been together for the better part of 18 years. We have a 4 year old son, 3 cats, and we lead the perfect life. All except for one thing, Rebecca is a Cowboy fan. So for a couple times each year things can get pretty tense. I’m happy that the Redskins have gotten the better part of the Cowboys the past couple years. My wife and son have taught me a few things. I don’t need to yell and scream obscenities while watching the game. The silent tirade I have in my head works just fine. Betting on the Skins and an over is probably not a good idea, the little man needs new shoes and to eat. A 24 hour period to be in a bad mood and get over a loss is enough, no need to be angry the whole week.

The opportunity came a few years back to convert Rebecca to be a Redskins fan. Rebecca was chosen from several hundred applicants to work for the Skins. My dreams were coming true. I was back in Redskins Park, getting tours of the locker rooms, the meeting rooms, and the field. We had season tickets, I was meeting players, and man life was good. Rebecca started on a Monday, which coincided with my annual canoe trip on the Shenandoah River. I bragged the entire weekend to all my buddies about my new found fortune. When Rebecca came home from work that Monday, the dream started crashing. The moment I saw her I could tell. She hated the job, hated the people she was working for. She wanted to quit. Dan Snyder had walked by her desk said “who are you” then walked away without waiting for a reply. Nice introduction Dan. I talked her into returning for her second day, but she resigned that day. The dream was over, and now her love for the Cowboys, and hatred of the Skins had intensified. “How can you root for that team when they made me cry?” is a question I get a lot.
The answer is I love the Redskins. Sure I feel like I have put a whole lot more into them than I have received back, but things are looking up. The team is looking great, and I am forever optimistic about our chances. The Super Bowl is in Tampa this year, which happens to be where I live. It would be wonderful to end 17 years of frustration here in my backyard. But, that's still a couple months away. For now, there is only one thing on my mind.

Mrs. Pickle: I Heart The Cowboys

Fatpickle’s wife is a Dallas Cowboy fan. Yep, you heard me right, Fatpickle who is the Redskins life-long, lives and breathes burgundy and gold, #1 fan, married a Cowboy fan. I too can claim to be a life-long fan because I have been routing for Dallas since I was 5 years old. My parents had a friend, who in my 5 year old mind was the best looking, funniest, most awesome person on the planet. His name was Randy.


Randy was interesting and charming and loved the Dallas Cowboys. Therefore, I too loved the Dallas Cowboys. One memory of Randy that stands out is when we would all go to dinner at the Chesapeake Bay Seafood House. My sister and I would have to entertain ourselves for hours while we watched Randy pick crabs, my parents and his wife having finished long before him. This was to be a precursor to the type of guy I would marry. How ironic that I am still sitting and waiting for my favorite guy to finish picking crabs.
Randy taught me to love the Cowboys when I was young. I didn’t know much about them then, but I was learning to enjoy the competition, to share a common bond with someone special and to celebrate a win. And, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know much about them now, especially compared to Fatpickle who claims to know everything there is to know about his team. He can recite stats about the game and players (past and present) and has become a self-proclaimed addict to a certain Redskins’s blog.

Some will try to criticize that my lack of knowledge prohibits me from calling myself a die-hard Cowboys fan......
I can tell you this….I am a Cowboys fan and no one can tell me otherwise. Nope, I don’t have to know who the quarterback was when I was five (but I do, Danny White), I don’t have to have 8 jerseys and I am not afraid to admit that I had to ask my husband who our backup quarterback was (well, before we were sadly having to use him of course).

I love being a Cowboy fan. I love their uniforms and the big blue star. I love the exuberance of Jerry Jones contrasted by the ‘he looks like a teddy bear I want to hug’ likableness of Wade. I love that there is a show on CMT about the cheerleaders. I love that there was a show on HBO about the training camp. I love that Tony and Jessica are dating and I get to read about it in People Magazine. I love that they are America’s Team and that they are my team.

So, don’t question Fatpickle’s choice in marrying a Cowboy fan. He’s fine with it….just ask his BFF.....Our house is fun and loud during the big rivalry games. It’s just sad that on Monday morning our beloved Fatpickle will resume his blogging in a hungover and depressed state….he’ll get over it though…he has the other 56 times.
Go Cowboys!
Rebecca Ramey

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Porkboy46: Crazy About Them Cowboys

Looks like Romo hit the buffet on the bye week!
How does a kid from Erie, PA. end up a Cowboys fan? I guess just good luck and a little help from my brother Jimmy. We had NFL helmets and we would wear them to play in the yard. I got the silver one with the star, and it's been a great fit ever since. You see I am one of those wackos that would be buried in a Cowboy's casket or have his ashes spread over Valley Ranch. Most people see that stuff and say what a nut case, to me it sounds pretty reasonable!
When it comes to the rivalry, just seeing the colors gets me all fired up! Blue and silver, burgundy and gold! I love to watch to watch old VHS tapes of them (I have every game between the two on tape since 91). Some are great, some very bad, but all are classic! Just watching the uniforms against each other on Madden gets me psyched up, nothing I love more!
My first memory of the rivalry was Tony Dorsett throwing the football at Dave Butz! There are so many great moments and here are a few of my favorites:
NOVEMBER 1991, SKINS ARE UNDEFEATED and the Cowboys come to RFK and throw everything they have at one of the best teams in NFL history. Hail Mary's, onside kicks, back up QB's and get a win!!! That started a winning streak that put them in the playoffs!

LAST SKINS GAME FOR ROGER STAUBACH, he leads them to 14 points in the last 2 minutes to win the game and knock the skins out of the playoffs. That was the last game of the season, the winning team won the division and the loser went home!THANKSGIVING 1996, the boys are supposed to be out of gas and Emmitt Smith is on the downside. But, Emmitt goes wild for 3 touchdowns!
DANNY BELT BUCKLE'S FIRST GAME, September 12, 1999. The Skins are up 35-14 and the Cowboys rally to win in overtime, with a great play action bomb to Rocket Ismail!
I could go on and on forever. Many people have called this the greatest rivalry in sports, and it is better than ever! You can even go to a wikipedia page all about the history.
Listen, if you don't have respect for your greatest rival then its not much of a rivalry. There were times when I was young and my brother Mike would tape pages from the Washington Post up on my ceiling after a big Skins win! During the 87 strike game the Cowboys lost, and I lost a bet. That meant that I had to burn my favorite Dallas t-shirt right after the game! There have been great days on both sides of the ball. Like Chris Cooley scoring 3 TD's as he ran over the entire Dallas secondary to blow out the Boy's on their way to the playoffs. That game brought the rivalry back from the dead! Santana Moss's 2 TD's in the closing minutes on Monday night in Texas Stadium to win 14 - 13!How about " THE RIGGO DRILL?" THE SKINS RUNNING THE SAME PLAY OVER RANDY WHITE TEN TIMES TO RUN OUT THE CLOCK IN THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!! Many Skins said that the Super Bowl was a letdown after the Dallas game the week before!
There are many more. The legendary shoot-out in 1966 that Dallas won 31 - 30 when MEREDITH AND JURGENSEN WERE OUT DRINKING TOGETHER TILL 4 AM THE NIGHT BEFORE!
Ken Houston tackling Walt Garrison on the one yard line to win on Monday Night! This brings me to one more note, this rivalry should have one Monday night game every year! But Sunday night will do, this is going to be a classic! I think the winner goes to the playoffs and the loser will be the team left out. But I sure as hell would love to see a best two out of three this year!
I have a lot of friends that are big Skins fans, but I have a best friend who is a Skin's nut! We usually feel a little strange when these games roll around. Trying not to sound too cocky or rub it in (because we are sure that our team is definitely going to win!) Nothing needs to be said. We both know how deep these games cut and how bad it feels to be on the wrong end. And, we are both way superstitious ! I would just like to thank him for being such a great friend and for letting me spill my guts about these teams.
I just hope the players on both sides care half as much as some of us fans do!!!
Good luck Skins fans, you guys are going to need it.
Did I mention Clint Longley, Thanksgiving of 1974 ?


Big Boy's Take On The Redskins-Cowboys Rivalry

What does the Cowboys/ Redskins rivalry mean to me? Very simple....everything. It's the good guys against the bad guys. The blue collars against the white. It's the greatest rivalry in professional sports! George Allen, a journeymen coach arrived in Washington in the early 70's with his brand of football. He had no time for rookies. Just give him veteran players with something left in the tank, and something left to prove and we will be successful. Oh, one other problem....he also knew that to be successful with the Redskins, he had to beat the Dallas Cowboys. And so it began. It just seems that over the years they have been a tuxedo and we have been a pair of brown shoes. We had pickups they had BMW's. We had something to prove and they had what we wanted.
At the age of 37 I am still a big sports fan, however I'm not near as emotional about it as I was in my youth. Except 2 times a year. It just builds in me from Monday to Sunday. It consumes me. Dallas week is still as emotional in my life now as it was then. I can still hear my mom talk about how Clint Longley came off the bench for a injured Roger Staubach to beat us. How they knocked us out of the playoffs in '79. How we got some redemption in the '80's, a very successful decade for us but always a snag or two from guess who. How my childhood friend Mike Dellinger, who was as die hard a Cowboys fan as you will ever find, would chat all week about the importance of the game. I remember how each of us hated to be on the losing end the morning after and that phone would ring. Oh man!

My greatest memories of the rivalry? I have many but I will share my favorite. It was during the second Joe Gibbs era. It was Monday night September 19, 2005. My cousin Herman and I were at our local watering hole. We had been suffering a few dismal years in the rivalry. The Skins were down 13-0 and couldn't do a damn thing on offense. Some guy at the end of the bar got up to go to the bathroom and in passing, said something that did not sit well with us. Words were exchanged which led to pushing and shoving. After the altercation was broken up, the bar divided, things got settled down and the game went on. The guy left, but vowed that he would be back. And he did, he came back wearing a Cowboy's jersey with several other Cowboys fans. We we got into again, this time the result was the Cowboys fans were asked to leave and not come back. Two long passes later we win 14-13! The remaining Redskin's fans in the bar all cheered and hugged one another and all was good.

The best part about it was the reaction of the coach. Here's a guy, a Hall of Famer, Superbowl winning coach, Sprint Cup champion car owner. If you remember his reaction after the game it was very moving. He knew at that place and time what the rivalry means to him, to the players, and all of us fans.
Jeff Collins