Thursday, December 24, 2009

RIP George Michael

Legendary sportscaster George Michael passed away today at the age of 70 after a 2 year battle with a cancer…and a little piece of my childhood died with him.

Nationally known to television audiences for his Emmy award winning Sports Machine, George Michael was MY sportscaster. One of the great things about growing up in the NOVA area was being able to see George on a daily basis…I just shared him with the rest of the world on Sunday nights. George reported and covered many sports that others did not, including rodeo, NASCAR and professional wrestling. I looked forward to tuning in to see George’s “Wednesday Wrestling” segments. George also covered my beloved Redskins like no other sportscaster before or after him, and his shows like “Redskins Report” and “The Joe Theismann Show,” enabled inside looks at the team long before the Internet, ESPN and blogs that we have today.

The “George Michael’s Sports Machine” was a pioneering program that paved the way for SportsCenter and shows of the like. Long after ESPN 2 and SportsCenter started airing 24 hours a day, I continued to watch the Sports Machine. I’ve been humming the music that was played coming in and out breaks during the show all day. The Sports Machine is a piece of pop culture…and it reminds me of my childhood.

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Michael on 2 different occasions and I said the same thing to him each time “George, I loved you in Silence of the Lambs.” George would laugh that familiar laugh that I grew up listening too and say, “if you blinked you missed me.”

Well George, I didn’t miss you then…but I sure miss you now.

Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Lazy JC: How I Really Hate Em

Anyone who's know me for the past 32 years, would know, this week especially, that the title of this post would be directed at the Dallas Cowboys. I've hated them as far back as I can remember. Hated Danny White. Hated Randy White. Hated Ed "too tall" Jones, hated Tony Dorsett. Hated Tom Landry, even though I thought he was a class act, but he was a Cowboy. I even hated the Minnesota Vikings for several years, for making that awful Herschel Walker trade, which paved the way for the Cowboys to become good again. You know I hated Troy Aikman, Emmit Smith and Michael Irvin. Recently it's been easy to hate the Cowboys, they employed very hate-able clowns like T.O. and Pacman Jones. I met Tony Romo at Tiger Woods' event in Washington D.C. this past summer, and wanted to hate him, but he seemed like a nice guy. Then I saw that he could out drive me, and had a lower handicap, so can I hate him, again.

The problem with this week is, for the first time I can remember, I'm not sure if I want my Washington Redskins to blow the Cowboys off the field. In fact, there's a part of me that wants the opposite to happen. I'm as confused as I'm sure you are reading this.

Photo via D.C. Sports Bog

Let me explain. I've been a Redskins fan my entire life and, as most fans this year, am absolutely sick about the state of the team. I've tried to find the silver lining in the moves the team made the past few years, hiring the owner's racquetball partner as head of football operations, hiring an offensive coordinator before hiring a head coach, then, once they realized that no established coaches wants to come anywhere near this train wreck, hire said offensive coordinator to be the head coach, even though he'd never even been as much as a coordinator before. I've watched as they draft three receivers in the second round, while the offensive and defensive lines go neglected. Watched them throw huge signing bonuses at flash-in-the-pan players, while trading hard to come by commodities (like a shutdown cornerback), for easily obtained talent (productive running back). This year, I've watched the circus continue, as the racquetball partner proclaimed to everyone that the team had playoff talent, as they signed guys off the couch to bolster their terrible offensive line. Still, I tried to find the good in it all, the racquetball partner resigned. The son of one of the most recognizable and respected Redskin coaches was hired to run the team. They got a decent punter, for once. The kid they drafted in the first round has provided some badly needed pressure on the opposing quarterbacks, and the guy they threw $100 million at has helped him, during the 60% of defensive snaps that he plays. I thought that, perhaps, playing for a contract would bring out the best in the misused, damaged-goods quarterback who spent half of last season (and most of this season) pulling turf out of his helmet. At times, it has happened.

But, they started 2-6 against, arguably, the easiest schedule in football. The offensive coordinator-turned head coach was stripped of his play calling duties in favor of a guy who'd been volunteering at the bingo parlor. All a Redskins fan could do was endure the inevitable beatings that were sure to come, and wait longingly for that top pick in the draft next April.

Then the bastards knock Kyle Orton out of the game, make a few plays offensively, and beat the Denver Broncos, who'd started the season 6-0. They outplayed Dallas, Philly, and New Orleans for large stretches, before blowing all three games late. They go into Oakland and blow them out. Now, with a remade line paving the way for explosive runners Rock Cartwright, Quinton Ganther and Marcus Mason (huh?), the crappy, '09 Redskins, at times, have looked like the '83 Hogs. For a few games, at least. Still, last week's performance against the Giants, at home, on Monday night, leaves D.C. anxiously, but cautiously, waiting for the showdown with the Cowboys this Sunday. While I'm sure the Giants game reminded most fans that this is still a bad team with many fundamental problems, and everyone realizes that Dallas is a better team, the small glimpses of hope the Redskins gave their fans the four weeks before Monday night has a few hoping that, maybe, they can pull this one off. After all, it's Redskins-Cowboys. Throw the records out the window. Anything can happen, right?

Here's were we get to my confusion. I know that my football team is a bad football team. I know that there's going to have to be major changes made in the offseason for the organization to turn things around. I also have little faith in the people who are going to have to make those changes. Bruce Allen comes from a legendary football family, and actually has a nice football resume', but he still has to work for Dan Snyder. I do know one thing, that losing to the Cowboys makes the owner of the Redskins very mad. I'm sure that, witnessing a big Cowboys win, in his own stadium, a week after another division rival embarrassed his team at home, will enrage him, to the point that may ensure that those changes get made. To the point where he actually allows the football man he's hired to run the team, to run the team. I've never wanted the Redskins to lose a game, but can you see the bind I'm in? What to hope for? Instant gratification (I have a wing party at Hooters riding on this game!)? But, would a win give the clown calling the shots false hope for this team? Would he continue to think that they're only a few pieces away from a real contender? Or do I hope for the greater good, a rousing defeat at that hands of the hated rivals, and decisive change that may renew this once great franchise?

I know that, as a sports fan, I've never felt this way about any team I've ever supported.

How I really hate 'em.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Hey, It's Still Dallas Week!

Having suffered thru one of the worst games in one of the worst seasons in Redskins history you may be asking yourself..."what do I have left to root for?" Well, it's Dallas week, and a win this weekend against our most hated rivals can seriously screw up the Cowboy's playoff hopes.

This rivalry still means something and even when it seems the underdog in the series has no chance...the underdog always seems to rise to the occasion. In this case the Redskins are 6.5 point underdogs in their own house...and rightfully so after Monday night.

I'm hoping the Redskins show up on Sunday night and give me a late Christmas present and something to remember from the 2009 season. We're 4-10, what are you going to do? It is what it is. Let's beat the F'in Cowboys and look forward to 2010. HAIL!

Cheers and Hail

Monday, December 21, 2009

Skins/Giants MNF Recap


Are you F'in kidding me?

Help me baby jesus.

F me to tears!

I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it for myself.

Cheers and Hail

Friday, December 18, 2009

Lost In Translation


Look, we all know that the Redskin’s press conferences and press releases that happened yesterday have a certain amount of bull shit to them. Luckily for you, my valued reader…I have a bull shit detector/translator that I have used to put said “B.S.” into plain old English.

Vinny Cerrato:

"I'm thankful to Dan Snyder and other members of his ownership team for the opportunities I've been given over the years."


The biscuit wheels have come off this gravy train, I can no longer brown nose my way any longer.

"I've had the pleasure of working with some great coaches such as Joe Gibbs, Greg Blache and Sherman Lewis, great people on the Redskins staff, and, most especially, some of the best professional football players in the world. I wish them all the best," Cerrato said. "I've also had the privilege of working for a franchise supported by the most loyal fans in the NFL."


Jim Zorn is the asshole that got me fired…I gave him the best professional players in the world and he F’d it all up. And to the fans who started revolutions and made signs…you win.

Dan Snyder (on Vinny):

"More importantly, he is my friend, and he has always been there for me and the Redskins," Snyder said. "He's the consummate optimist and has always made decisions based on what would be the best for the team."


He’s a decent racquetball player who was crazy enough to think we could win with that offensive line.

"Obviously, Bruce has got the authority," Snyder said. "And when he makes a decision, the club makes a decision, it's a Redskins decision. ... I've not been as involved as people may have thought. In terms of the future, obviously we're going to be counting on Bruce to help lead the way."


This mess is Vinny’s…not mine. Moving forward Bruce will make the decisions (after I tell them what they are i.e. Shanahan.) The decisions will now be made under the new codeword “Redskins” decisions.

Dan Snyder (on Allen):

"Bruce Allen is the personification of an NFL winner," Snyder said. "Our fans know his heritage; we know his abilities. He is the right person to lead our club."


I’ve gone back to the glory days again…the fans loved it with Joe…my approval rating should rise instantly. I think I’ll wear my belt buckle to the press conference and buy Bruce and I matching ties.

Bruce Allen (on Jon Gruden):

"Well, we don't have an opening at that position," said Allen. "And I have a close relationship with hundreds of coaches in this league, but Jim Zorn is our coach. I met him two hours before meeting you here, so give us some time to see how our relationship develops."


I’m going to kiss Jim before I F him. And you guys are all wrong…the Danny wants Shanahan, not Gruden.

Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Remembering Sean

On Nov. 27th it will be two years since Sean Taylor's passing. It's still hard to imagine that he's gone. This is a re-post of a blog that I wrote last year and an Animoto that I made as a tribute. The 2nd YouTube is the Redskin's official tribute.

I was watching a Skin's game a couple of weeks ago and I was wearing my Sean Taylor 75th Anniversary Jersey (happens to be my favorite out of my collection). I was enjoying all the stress and excitement of the game when my 4 year old son asked me a question.

"Daddy, who's jersey is this?"

"This is Sean Taylor's jersey," I replied.

My son then walked up to the TV and stood in front of it, his nose only inches from the screen. He stared intently at the TV for a few seconds as I asked him as politely as I can (while watching a Skin's game) to please move out of the way.

"But Daddy, which one of those guys is Sean Taylor?"

After stumbling around for a couple seconds I came up with,
"Sean's not playing today."

Wow, how could I answer that? It's a life and death question that he is not ready for, and quite frankly...maybe I'm not either. But that simple answer is not enough.

I remember so many things about Sean. I remember how excited I was that they picked him over Kellen Winslow. Excited, because I felt Taylor was a once in every ten years type of difference maker. An added bonus to this scenario brought my favorite player to the Redskins in the 3rd round.

I remember how he intercepted a pass and returned it for a TD in his very first pre-season game. It was the Hall of Fame game against the Broncos, and Joe Gibbs's first game back.

I remember how his teammates nicknamed him "Meast", because he was part man-part beast.

I remember how he may have been the best running back at the University of Miami, but he played Safety. Frank Gore, Willis Mcgahee, and Clinton Portis were the teams RB's.

I remember how he scored a TD in the Eagles game in 2005 to clinch a playoff birth, then scored another TD in the Bucs game to seal a playoff victory.

I remember how Receivers feared going across the middle against him. No, they feared him wherever they were on the field.

I remember hearing that he got shot, and that he was clinging to life. It seemed so surreal.

I remember thinking he was so strong, he was going to pull through...but I guess God had a better plan for him.

I remember the media reporting bogus reports, implying that this was somehow Sean's fault, some sort of retaliation for something Sean did.

I remember for a split second thinking what the media reported.

I remember the media not recanting their bogus stories. I myself am sorry for my momentary lapse in thought.

I remember thinking how there was no way the Skins would lose the following week against the Bills. They did, but then rallied as a team to make the playoffs.

I remember learning just who Sean was. The person, the teammate, the friend, companion, and father.

I remember it all, and I will continue to remember.

And some day, when my son and I are ready...I'm going to tell him all about Sean Taylor.

Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Kenny Mayne Interview

Full disclosure...I'm a huge Kenny Mayne fan and have been since the mid 90's. But, I'm not the only one, you can count Jerry Seinfeld and Justin Timberlake plus many others (Mrs. Pickle) as Kenny Mayne fans. From the dry and witty humor first displayed on the make believe stories that appear on the Mayne Event and Mayne Street, Kenny never fails to entertain and generate a few laughs. You can see new episodes of Mayne Street right HERE every Tuesday and catch up on previous Mayne Events right HERE. Kenny also wrote a book, it didn't do well enough for him to retire...but it's a must read for any sports fan with a heart. You can follow Kenny on Twitter, see him this weekend on ABC/ESPN coverage of The Breeders Cup and see him on next weeks edition of Dancing With the Stars. And if that's not enough Kenny Mayne for you...part two of the interview will be posted over at The Cooley Zone very soon.

FP: Best thing to come out of Seattle…Pearl Jam or Starbucks?

KM: Not a fair fight. Pearl Jam. Love the new album. Saw PJ in Los Angeles a few weeks ago. I do love Starbucks coffee but hate the fact employees are trained to charge the highest price possible. I want three shots in my Americano. I want those three shots in a tall cup. I want to know why I am charged more for that..having saved Starbucks paper and water...than had I just taken the three shots in the Grande cup, in which three Americano shots come. Yes, it is a small rip-off in terms of money stolen, but I like the world to be right. Second, the guy who runs Starbucks sold my Sonics to people from Oklahoma who then moved the team. So, yeah, my answer is Pearl Jam. Three shots of Pearl Jam are cuts 5,6,7 on the new album. But I like it all.

FP: What was your favorite SportsCenter catchphrase?

KM: I like it when Stuart Scott says "You gotta Rise UP-ah." I like it when Neil Everett says "Right Now" at the end of the tease. I like it when Scott VanPelt gets silly. I didn't like it when he said "its business time" because I was going to use that but he said it first. I think it's OK to use another's line if you then quickly attribute. It's business time. Scott VanPelt said that. So did those guys on HBO. As for mine, if it's just one, I'll go with "He's going to get his name in the paper."

FP: Nicknames you’re known by?

KM: My friend Mark still calls me Spoon, after an ex-Sonic. Wheelo is another one. That's a play on my odd middle name, Wheelock, a family name.

FP: Would you ever do a radio show?

KM: I would have a radio show if I were paid to do one and it didn't last a long time and it didn't come on the air that often. I'm not lazy, but I like not having to perform each day. In one way or another, I work seven days a week during football season but I also can create plenty of family time. As long as I get my story done no one cares what the actual hours were. So, I wouldn't right now want to trade what I do to be married to a radio schedule.

FP: Best meal you can cook?

KM: I blend ice with orange juice well. It's an art. But then you have to clean the blender.
I am pretty solid with steak and baked potatoes. My scrambled eggs are restaurant quality.

FP: Favorite TV show and movie?

KM: Ever? Probably Johnny Carson. I love CBS Sunday Morning. The pace of it is nice. It's educational, thoughtful. I'm not naming a PBS show just to name a PBS show but I also love Frontline. Can't go wrong with HBO. Whatever HBO's next thing is, that's usually good. I miss Tim Russert. I like Hardball with Chris Matthews. I want the news shows, even the ones where there's lot of opinion to be handled by someone doing it fairly. I also watch International History Channel. While I was in bed after surgery in June I watched a doc on Pencils. Really.

FP: You could throw a football 70+ yards in college, what’s the over/under on your longest throw at 50?

KM: I just won that bet the other day. It was on TV. I got 50 with one step and a bad ankle. I'm setting the new line at 60 once I can get some run-up.

FP: Largest amount you’ve won on a single bet in horse racing?

KM: I think I brought in something like 5k on one single bet. I've never won a Pick-Six. I like Pick-Fours. I like the Breeders' Cup. It is my favorite event of the year by far. Leaving for that soon.

FP: When winning a bet do you prefer “winner, winner, chicken dinner,” or “straight cash homey?”

KM: I'd quote Randy Moss.

FP: In your book you said you were going to break out the electric tackle football game again…have you done so?

KM: Yes. We played it at work recently. I brought it in as a prop. It's still under my desk. Stuart Scott and I used to play fairly often. Need to get that going again. We keep stats.

A plastic ball, plastic bat...hours of entertainment and a lifetime of memories!

FP: Mark Sansaver hit 843 wiffle ball home runs, how many did you hit?

KM: I lost track of my total. It was nowhere near Mark's number. I still possess an unhittable spit ball when on the hill.

Cheers and Hail

Monday, November 2, 2009

Look, It's Billy Bob Thornton...WS Edition

Chase Utley

Jesse James

A.J. Burnett (with personal catcher/pool advisor)

Dale Jr.



Cliff Lee

Michael Phelps

Joe Girardi

Actor Tony Plana

Charlie Manuel

Bob Knight

Raul Ibanez

Lou Diamond Phillips

Mariano Rivera


Cheers and Hail

Friday, October 16, 2009

Part Of The Solution

Earlier this week I started what was supposed to be a series of posts documenting the issues of the Redskins front office. I realize now that I was starting to become part of the problem, not the solution. Oh, believe me, I’ve got major issues with Dan and Vinny…and the next post I had planned was to focus on bad draft picks, free agent moves, etc. I mean I’m still pissed we are going to go into this game against KC with an offensive line that features a bunch of non-drafted guys and a guy who was out of football for three years. Everyone knew the O-line was an issue, it lacked depth and was getting old…but the front office ignored this. But, I’m not a journalist and it’s not my job to break down information that most of you Skins fans already know. What I am is a huge Redskin fan who happens to blog about them. It’s time to be a fan.

As fans, we can’t change the state of the Redskins. Wearing black to the game and not buying hotdogs is not going to change the product on the field. You paid your hard earned money for those tickets and I agree that your voice should be heard. But, when you attend a game at FedEx, you are going to that game because you want to see your team win! You want to sing “httr,” after they score. The players play hard, they may not have been put in the best position to win…but they want to win. CHEER them, don’t boo them. A win against KC followed by a win against the Eagles and the Skins are back in this thing. Is that what you want as fan? Or do you want to continue to bitch, moan and overall be miserable?

The Redskins season and the Redskins franchise are not dead…so don’t wear black to the game Sunday. I suggest something more attractive, like burgundy and gold. Treat yourself to $10 beer and cheer for the Skins. Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Dumb And Dumber

The hiring of Jim Zorn

Dan and Vinny were like a “monkey f’ing a football” during the entire process of hiring a head coach after Gibbs left. What should have been a swift and efficient process turned into a month long soap opera that ended in a…WTF? Here’s a look back at the decisions that brought Jim Zorn to the Redskins.

Ignoring Gibbs

After Gibbs decided to retire after the season, it was said that he (as well as many players) endorsed Gregg Williams for the head coaching position in a meeting with Dan. Of course Dan let that endorsement from the most influential figure in Redskins history go in 1 ear and out the other. But why would Dan listen to the old man? Well, one good reason would be that Dan was still paying Gibbs his 6 million a year as a “consultant.” Another great reason was the fact that Gibbs just led the Skins to the playoffs 2 out of the last 3 seasons…and knew the team better than anyone. Or maybe because Gibbs won 3 Super Bowls and has forgotten more about football than Dan will ever know. Of course Dan strung Williams along for 10 days or so before not only not hiring him, but giving him his walking papers as the D coordinator as well (although Williams would have never stayed, Dan still has to maintain the power.) Dan was wrong not to hire Gregg Williams as the head coach. Not because he was the right man for the job (I’m not sure that he was and not sure he would have been successful either,) but by not listening to a great football mind like Gibbs…something Dan refuses to do. FAIL #1

Promoting Vinny

The next step to finding a head coach was to take a moment and…promote Vinny to Executive VP/Football Operations. The Redskin’s official press release announced that Vinny “will assume responsibility for all aspects of the team's football organization - including personnel, the team roster, scouting and salary cap management.” This is a great way to lure the “cream of the crop” of head coaches…let them know they’ve got to report to Vinny and defer to him on all personnel decisions. Now that’s got to sound attractive to a Cowher-type doesn’t it. FAIL#2

Meet your staff Coach

Next came the revealing of the “mystery candidate,” Jim Fassell. This would end up being the 2nd time that Dan left Fassell at the altar. Dan and Vinny strung him along while they were supposedly trying to assemble his coaching staff, which would feature Rex Ryan as D coordinator and Jim Zorn as the O coordinator. Ryan never had an interest in joining the Redskins in this capacity, but Zorn was hired as the O coordinator, based upon the fact that Dan and Vinny were “blown away” by his interview. Dan and Vinny then inked up Greg Blache as the D coordinator and now basically have an entire staff for their still unknown head coach. Just a quick recap, the incoming head coach now basically has his entire coaching staff already decided, and must defer all football decisions to Vinny. FAIL#3

Suit it up, Jim

Zorn was not a “hot commodity” for O coordinator positions around the NFL; he had never advanced past QB coach at any level in the NFL. He wasn’t the “young, sexy pick” to be a head coach in the NFL…that would have been Josh McDaniels, whom I believe the Skins never interviewed. Zorn was 54 years old and basically was only know for his “quirky” training methods. He had never called plays; he had never devised a game plan. He was never in charge of more than 3 players. But Dan and Vinny were blown away. And as the candidates began to dwindle…the job was now the equivalent of going out on a first date with a girl who’s 6 months pregnant…Dan and Vinny invited Zorn to interview for the head job. “Suit it up, Jim.” FAIL#4

The rest is now history. Zorn was named HC, OC and QB coach. Severely over his head…and he hasn’t been able to get his head back above water. I’m afraid that he’s close to no longer being able to tread water…and that’s where the Skins are at this point.

Next post will focus on personnel decisions.

Cheers and Hail

Giving The Redskins Some Tough Love

The sites been quiet the past several days, quite honestly I’ve been pretty numb about the Redskins. For the first time in forever, I don’t have a positive spin to put on the situation. I’ve been an eternal optimist in regards to the Skins, but I no longer see a light at the end of the tunnel. After some hard thinking and long analysis (otherwise known as drinking heavily) I have come to one conclusion…it’s the front office’s fault. I hate to write negatively about the Redskins, but sometimes you have to sit down and have a talk to those that you love, give them a little "tough love."

A couple weeks ago on ESPN Countdown, Tom Jackson said it best (I’m quoting from memory, may not be word for word) “Dan Snyder wants to win, he just doesn’t know how to win.” “He’s like a guy who’s got a leaky roof…but he ignores it and keeps on fixing up his basement.”

Of course everybody has an opinion on whose fault it is (i.e. Riggo YouTube,) it’s Zorn, It’s Campbell, it’s Snyder or it’s Cerrato. It’s clear to me that it’s the front office. The decisions being made out of Ashburn are clearly made by the tandem of Dan & Vinny…and quite frankly, it’s not working. These 2 peas in a pod can continue family movie night and their racquetball dates, but Vinny has to go for this organization to succeed. And when Vinny does go, Snyder must give full control to a great football mind and let them re-build this once proud franchise. A franchise that now gets booed at home at home regularly, and whose 2 wins have come against teams that lost last week by nearly 50 points.

This is the environment that Dan and Vinny have built. A team that struggles against the worst teams in the NFL, which means the Redskins, must be one of the worst teams? A team that cant’s score 20 points a game and hasn’t beaten a team by double digits since Gibbs left town nearly 2 years ago. As fans, we know the players on the field are playing hard and to the best of their abilities…unfortunately the front office is not putting those players in a position to succeed.

My next post will focus on the decisions that Dan & Vinny have made that have gotten the Redskins to where they are today.

Cheers and Hail

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

10/11-13 Happy Bday Nolan Reimold & Gregg Olson

Happy birthday Nolan Reimold. Nolan just finished his rookie season for the Orioles. It was an impressive campaign that saw him win AL Rookie of the Month honors in June and garner some media attention for AL ROY. Alas, his season was cut short by an achilles injury. Overall Nolan batted .279 with 15 HR’s and 45 RBI’s. He also showed some surprising speed on his way to stealing 8 out of 10 bases. Nolan also spurred Fatpickle to create these T-shirts that are soon to be classic collector’s items. I look forward to watching Nolan excel for the Orioles in the years to come. Happy 26th Mr. Reimold.

Happy birthday Gregg Olson. Gregg played 6 seasons for the Orioles from 88-93’. He won the 89’ ROY award (beating out Ken Griffey Jr.,) when he went 5-2 with a 1.69 ERA and saved 27 games for the “Why Not” Orioles. Blessed with a devastating, knee-buckling curveball, Gregg saved 160 games and had a 2.26 ERA during his Oriole tenure. His 160 saves are #1 all-time in Orioles history. Gregg was inducted into the Orioles HOF in 2008. Happy 43rd Mr. Olson.

Happy birthday Skip Hicks. Skip played 3 seasons for the Redskins from 98-00’. His best season was 98’ when he started 5 games and rushed for 433 yards and 8 TD’s. Skip was drafted in the 3rd round out of UCLA where he still holds the record for TD’s in a season (26) and a career (56.) Happy 35th Mr. Hicks.

Cheers and Hail

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Fatpickled: Ten Post From Year 1

Here's the final celebration of Fatpickled turning 1 last week...a list of 10 posts I think you should read. I can't really call them a best of, or a top 10 list, because they would need to be award winning pieces or something for that. Nope, not winning any awards here at Fatpickled, just trying to entertain some of the people, some of the time. If you've been with me since the beginning, here's a chance to relieve some old memories. If your new to the site, here's a chance to catch up on some older posts. Whatever category you fit in, thanks for following Fatpickled.

Guys Night Out

This was a post about all the athletes I want to hang out with and have a beer. It was the most visited post I’ve ever done.

The Caddyshack Remake…Starring???

Over 3500 unique votes were cast to decide who should star in the Caddyshack remake.

Just Another Sunday Night

The his and hers diary of a Redskins fan coping with a loss.

Hot Chicks

Coverage of the Sweet 16 Hot Chicks tournament won by Julianne Hough.

I Don’t Like The Yankees So Much

Probably the true winner of the most visited post ever, but we’ll never know as all the Yankees fans crashed the site for 8 days.

Dallas Week

Guest bloggers and I discussed why we love the Redskins/Cowboys.

Billy Bob Thornton Game

I match up athletes with their celebrity look alikes.

Athlete Interviews

Exactly what it says, interviews I’ve done over the past year with various athletes.

Sail Away With Me

Before the blog became sports only, I sometimes wrote about family stuff. This is a long, but funny read.

The Last Word In Big D

The first post ever, without this one there would be no others.

Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

NFL: Week 4 In Review

Fatpickle's NFL Week in review posts are 1 sentence thoughts on each NFL team. Sometimes a guest joins me, this week I'm solo, last week I skipped it all together. I suck.


NYG A couple weeks ago I said they may not make the playoffs; wrong…they win at least 11 games, F me to tears.

PHI Mcribb better get healthy fast…or risk losing his job, especially since he’s the 3rd best QB on the roster.

DAL The Cowboys should never ever throw the football when all their RB’s are healthy, period.

WAS Zorn’s been around the West Coast offense for nearly 20 years, same amount of time I’ve been with my wife. I don’t need an “extra set of eyes,” to know what offensive plays to run on her.


MIN My hatred of this team is growing like the ugly beard on Brad Childress’s face.

GB This team would be so much better if they could just protect Rodgers.

CHI Jay Cutler and Nuke Laloosh may be the same person.

DET Stafford can have a great career throwing the high ball to those Johnsons.


NO At least Reggie Bush can score with Kim Kardashian.

ATL This team just seems blah this year.

TB Why not look to the future with your #1 pick (Freeman?)

CAR There’s a Cajun word down on the bayou that describes Delhomme…sucks.


SF Is Vernon Davis blossoming?

SEA This team goes nowhere without a healthy Hasselback, I mean beck.

ARI I wonder if Boldin’s brother tweets. I’d like to hear what Boldin thinks about his looks.

STL The greatest turd on turf.


NYJ Good defense, hardnosed coach, good running game…that’s how you win in the NFL.

NE Stealing other teams information…that’s how you win Super Bowls in the NFL.

BUF I think T.O. is keeping himself together pretty well, considering…

MIA The feel good story of last season seems long ago and far away.


BAL Still the team to beat in the AFC.

CIN Playoffs…uh no!

PIT Wow…does Polamalu make a difference on that D!

CLE Mangini’s autobiography should be titled “How To Not Win Games While Alienating Your Players.”


IND It’s a given that they start each year by winning 8 or 10 in a row.

JAC Wow, they could end up being 6-2…then finish 7-9.

HOU I don’t think this team will ever be able to take the next step.

TEN After 4 weeks of picking them to win, they now could start 0-8. Ramsey or Young?


DEN Ugliest 4-0 team ever? Can the Royal Baller get some touches?

SD Norv and Zorn have the same postgame speech. “We’re getting better; we just need to make a couple plays.” Uh, Norv…the Chargers were 14-2 before you got there.

OAK The QB is completing 39% of his passes and the Coach might be going to jail. Al Davis is unaware about any of this.

KC Look at it this way KC, you’re not as bad as the Rams.

Cheers and Hail

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

10/5 Happy Bday Rex Chapman & Chris Whitney

(photo courtesy of D.C. Sports Bog)

Happy birthday Rex Chapman. Rex played 3 seasons with the Bullets from 92-94’. Rex is one of my favorite basketball players of all-time. He could take you to the hole and dunk on you, or hit fall away 3’s from 30 feet. I especially liked his jump shots that seem to arch all the way up to the rafters before swishing thru the net. Rex won many a game with last second 3’s (search on YouTube,) including the season opener in 94’ against Shaquille O’Neal and the Orlando Magic. Rex’s amazing hops also earned him a spot in the NBA’s dunk contest where he dunked 2 balls (one with each hand.) During his tenure Rex averaged 15.6 points per game. Rex retired after 12seasons in the NBA and now serves as VP of player personnel for the Denver Nuggets. Happy 42nd Mr. Chapman.

Happy birthday Chris Whitney. Chris played 8 seasons for the Bullets/Wizards from 95-04’. Chris appeared in all 82 games 4 times during that span. Chris ranks 1st all time in FT % for Washington at .879, and 3rd all time in 3 pointers with 489. His best season came in the 01-02 when he averaged 10.2 points and 3.8 assists. In retirement Chris started a company with former teammate Jahidi White. Happy 38th Mr. Whitney.

Cheers and Hail

Monday, October 5, 2009

The All-Time Greatest Fantasy Football Team

You ever wonder what would be the greatest fantasy football team ever? Well wonder no more, here it is in all it's glory. This isn't a list of the greatest fantasy players of all-time, but a list of the greatest fantasy seasons from each position. Basic fantasy scoring was used to compile this list and no players were bumped up or omitted based upon my personal preferences...this is the real deal. I love the fact that players from the 50's,70's and 80's made the squad...with Ditka narrowly missing from the 60's. Here's the greatest fantasy football team ever:


Tom Brady 07’
Before Giselle, Brady was a stud…4,800 yards and 50 TD’s passing plus another 2 more rushing as an added bonus.

Daunte Culpepper 04’
There was a time when Daunte was the greatest QB in fantasy…that time was the year before I drafted him in the first round, otherwise known as the year before he blew out his knee and was never the same. 4,717 yards passing to go along with 406 rushing and 41TD’s in 04’.

(honorable mention (H.M) Marino 84’, Young 98’, Manning 04’)


Marshall Faulk 00’
For 4-5 years straight every draft started with this guy’s name being called…in 2000 he peaked with 2,189 yards rushing/receiving and 26TD’s (in 14 games.)

Priest Holmes 03’
After Marshall stopped going # one, this guy replaced him and in 03’ he went off for 2,110 yards and 27TD’s.

Emmitt Smith 95’
Emmitt turned his nearly 30 touches a game into 2,148 yards and 25TD’s in 95’.

Shaun Alexander 05’
Alexander set the record for rushing TD’s in 05’ with 27 and added 1,880 yards on the ground.

OJ Simpson 75’
In 73’ OJ rushed for 2000 yards, in 75’ he was better…2,243 total yards and 23TD’s in only 14 games!

(H.M. Craig 85’ T. Davis 98’, A. Green 03’)


Randy Moss 07’
98 catches for 1,493 yards and a NFL record 23 receiving TD’s.

Jerry Rice 95’
Not the 87’ season w/ 23 TD’s in 95’ he had 122 receptions for 1,848 yards and 16TD’s.

Isaac Bruce 95’
Before the greatest show on turf Bruce was the man 119 rec’s 1,798 yds & 13TD’s.

Herman Moore 95’
95’ featured 3 of the best fantasy seasons ever by a WR, Moore went for 123-1,686-14.

Elroy Hirsch 51’
I love that someone makes this team that played in the 50’s…you can’t deny “Crazy Legs” stats, 17TD’s and 1,498 yards in a 12 game season!

(H.M. Clayton 84’, Carter 95’, Owens 01’)

Tight End

Antonio Gates 05’
The best season ever for a TE, 89-1,101-10.

Kellen Winslow 80’
He led the NFL with 89 catches, had 9TD’s and set a record for yards by a TE with 1,290.

(H.M. Ditka 61’ Gonzalez 00’)


Jeff Wilkins 03'
Kicking for the greatest show on turf he nailed 39FG’s and 46XP’s plus 4FG’s of 50+.

Gary Anderson 98’
His 35FG’s, 59XP’s and 2FG’s of 50+ were nice….but his 34 points in weeks 15&16 helped a lot of folks win their leagues.

(H.M. Mosely 84’ Vanderjadt 03’)

Defense/Special Teams

Bears 85’
11 games under 10 pts allowed w/ 2 shutouts, 54 TO’s, 65 sacks and 7TD’s!

Raven’s 00’
11 games under 10 pts allowed w/ 4 shutouts, 49 TO’s, 35 sacks and 3TD’s.

(H.M. 91’ Redskins, 91’ Eagles)

Cheers and Hail