Great News... The Recession Is Over

Just a short couple hours into free agency, vintage Dan Snyder came out swinging. Who needs to hear good words from Obama or Bernanke to feel better about our economy? Obviously Mr. Snyder didn't have his money invested with Bernard Madoff, and the Six Flags stock being in the shitter isn't effecting him either.

By 9am this morning the Skins have inked 2 of the best free agents available. They've retained Deangelo Hall @ $55 million, and added the prize of free agency Albert Haynesworth for another $100 million. But, apparently they are not finished. "Fish on," with Chris Canty, Ray Willis, and Derrick Dockery. As a fan, I'm excited as hell. Haynesworth is a beast. Hall is a difference maker. Dockery was our best offensive lineman 2 years ago. Canty and Willis would be definite upgrades.

As an honest, hard working American struggling thru the hardest economic times I will ever see in my lifetime, I'm confused. I wrote a post the other day in which I went shopping for free agents. I was shopping at Target (tar-j), Mr. Snyder is still shopping at Nieman Marcus (needless markup.) You see, I thought the Redskins were suffering as well. Only 8 million below the cap (I'm assuming big time cuts are coming to cover the spending splurge,) and I was a little thrown off by the firing of nearly 30 (at least) employees in early January. Or maybe it was the second round of layoffs just a couple weeks back.

So while I'm excited as a fan about the product that I will see on the field next fall, I'm not comfortable with the ethics of the organization. 40 employees at an average of 50k per year = 2 million. The teams salary cap for players is $127 million, which by smoke and mirrors the Skins will exceed. Add another 15-20 million for the coaching staff and front office. $155 million committed to just 2 players! It just doesn't add up.

40 employees lives crushed, their spouses and children deeply effected. Is it all worth it? I think not. There is no grey area here, it's black and white, there is a right and a wrong. And...it's just wrong. If the Danny has any integrity he would pick up the phone and personally call the individuals he laid off. He should offer them their jobs back and apologize. But we all know that would never happen.

He's at Morton's wining and dining the next player, ordering off the menu, and dangling million$$ in their faces.

Cheers and Hail

The Ultimate Softball Team

We are well into Spring Training now and there is still an amazing number of established MLB veterans who have something in common with me, we aren't playing anywhere. The list of players reads like the decade of the 90's all-star team. So, I'd like to invite them to join me to form the ultimate softball team.

Ladies and Gentleman, The HGH Bombers:

C - Ivan Rodriguez

1B - Richie Sexson

2B - Ray Durham

SS - Orlando Cabrera

3B - Nomar Garciapara

OF -Manny Ramirez

OF - Jim Edmonds

OF - Moises Alou

OF - Barry Bonds

DH - Frank Thomas

P - Curt Schilling

P - Kenny Rogers

P - Pedro Martinez

Sure these guys are well past their prime, but they still want to play and I'm amazed some team hasn't taken a chance on them. If they can't find a home, the offer stands.

Cheers and Hail

Fire Up Redskins One

The NFL Free Agency period starts this Friday @ 12:01AM. After sitting idling last year, speculation has Redskins One ready to roll this year. But if I'm the one calling the shots, that plane is never getting near Haynesworth. We have Golston(RFA) and Montgomery at DT, 2 players that are getting better and entering their primes. Griffin will be back as well. The defense was 8th in the league against the rush, so dropping 100 million on one player doesn't make any sense. So, where am I spending the Redskins money? Take a look.

CB - Deangelo Hall

He played well last year and I think he would like to be back, and the Skins want him back. But at what price?

Backup option : Bryant Mcfadden

Don't touch: Bly or Mcalister...keep Springs, he's better.

OLB - Bart Scott

With the release of Marcus Washington the Skins have a hole here. HB Blades is a solid backup, but not an every down player.

Backup option: Moving Jason Taylor around more and utilizing his talents would make this signing unnecessary. Drafting Brian Orakpo is an option as well (though I don't think he's available without trading up.)

DE - Chris Canty

This is a big MF'er. 6'7" 300lbs. He may not ever be a superstar, but a solid 8-10 sack guy. He went to VA, so he'd probably be interested in playing for DC.

Backup option: Demetric Evans

OT - Mark Tauscher

Oh man would Jordan Gross have been awesome or what? Tauscher is the best option available at a position that needs help. Quickly.

OG - Pete Kendall

Kendall has been a consistent player for the Skins the past couple years. He's getting up their in years, but probably has 2 more seasons in him. I'd like to see him back.

Backup option: Mike Goff has been opening holes for Tomlison in SD for years and is a solid option if you can't resign Kendall.

WR - Reggie Williams or Bryant Johnson

No big splash here, just a big bodied #3/4 WR that can catch an 8 yd slant on 3rd and 7.

Backup option: We can wait to see how Malcom Kelly turns out.

QB - Jeff Garcia
Yes, Jeff Garcia. I can't even believe I'm writing it down. But here's the deal. By not already locking up Jason Campbell to an extension, the Skins are showing us that they no longer have confidence in him. You can't have a lame duck QB. So bring in Garcia to push him. He's a great west coast QB and he always finds a way to win games and make plays. Brennan can continue to develop behind the 2, and you'd have to cut Collins. Next year you can decide who your QB is, Colt or JC.

I'm anxious to see how things turn out over the next week or so. There will be wining and dining with the Danny, Redskin's wives doubling as Real Estate agents, and recruiting from the players.

Hey, it's the greatest time of the year to be a Skins fan!

Cheers and Hail

Neil Olkewicz Interview

Neil Olkewicz played 11 seasons with the Washington Redskins and became a fan favorite for his "blue collar" work ethic. Along the way, "Olky" collected over 1,500 tackles and was the anchor of Richie Petibon's top 10 defenses. He also won 2 Super Bowl rings and a place on the 70 Greatest Redskin's list. Olkdog was kind enough to grant me this interview in which he discusses a wide range of topics including his beard, the 5 O'clock club, and NFL Union issues.

FP: How does an undrafted, undersized middle linebacker from Maryland go on to play 11 seasons and 150 games in the NFL?

NO: I had a real instinct for finding the football, loved to hit people and didn't like them hitting me. I worked hard in the weight room to give me strength to offset my size and was smart enough to learn my assignments quickly. Didn't get hurt much and when I did I usually could play through it and I was fortunate enough to be part of a winning team.

FP: The Redskin’s locker room had quite the group of characters back in the 80’s (Riggins, Theismann, Manley.) Is there a story that sticks out in your mind that you can share?

NO: I always felt what happened in the locker room stayed in the locker room!

FP: You were a fan favorite because of the way you played the game and how you handled yourself on and off the field. What was it like to play in RFK with those old stands rocking?

NO: I loved playing at RFK in that era and wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. I still get chills when I watch the highlight film when the stands were rocking and the fans were chanting "WE WANT DALLAS"!

FP: You recorded over 1500 tackles in your career, but scored just 1 TD. What do you remember about that play?

NO: It was a screen pass to Walter Payton, we had audibled to a man coverage right before the snap and I got between him and the quarterback, reached high and pulled it in and ran about 20 yards for a touchdown. It turned out to be Joe Gibbs first win as a Redskin coach since we were 0-5 at the time and the rest is history!

FP: Do you follow/root for the Skins today, and who’s your favorite player currently playing for the Skins?

NO: I still follow the Skins and Chris Cooley and London Fletcher are probably my favorites.

FP: To your Alma mater for a moment. Do you follow the Terps football and basketball teams and what do you currently think about them and where they are headed?

NO: I'm a big fan of the Terps, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the football team hasn't reached a plateau and that Gary Williams will work his way out of their current situation.

FP: Do you wear your Super Bowl rings?

NO: I only wear my Super Bowl rings occasionally, usually when making a football related appearance.

FP: What is your relationship like with the Redskin’s organization today?

NO: I have no relationship with the Redskin organization other than the NFL Alumni.

FP: What was your favorite moment on the football field, and do you have any regrets about your career?

NO: My favorite moment was the NFC championship game vs Dallas in 1982 and I have absolutely no regrets about my career.

FP: Are you still working the beard?

NO: Gave up the beard a few years ago, too much grey now so I'm going with the clean cut look now. Some people say I look younger now than when I played because of it!

FP: The Redskin’s basically had a dynasty from 82-91 (4 Super Bowls, 3 wins.) Do you feel that you guys should be better represented in the HOF?

NO: I think it's only a matter of time until a couple of our HOGS are inducted to the Hall of Fame to join Darrell and Art.

FP: You played at a time when the money was certainly good, but by no means near today’s standards. There are many players from your era that suffer from permanent injuries suffered on the field, and I feel the NFL has not done enough to give back to the players who got the League to where it is today. Organizations like Gridiron Greats have had to step up to help. What’s your take on this issue?

NO: As a former player rep who endured two strikes and had the only team that had no one cross the picket line, I am disgusted by our Unions indifference and the owners half hearted attempts only because of Congressional pressure.

FP: My grandmother owned Margaret’s Inn in Herndon, VA back in the late 70’s and worked at The Event as a bartender. Ever drink a beer served by her?

NO: I'm sure I had many beers served by your grandmother!

FP: Were you ever invited into the 5 o’clock club for a beer?

NO: The HOGS finally invited me into the 5 o'clock club the last few years of my career because they felt sorry for me because all my drinking buddies had retired or been cut by then!

FP: Mel Kaufman passed away last week. What would you like to tell Skin’s fans about him?

NO: Mel Kaufman was a class guy and one of my best friends on the team. He was an unsung overachiever much like myself and was a true Redskin. I will miss him.

Neil, you are a true Redskin and a true gentleman. Thanks for the interview.

Cheers and Hail

Saints Drop A Deuce

I got nothing for this post. I just thought the title was funny.

Pitchers and Catchers Report

Those word's are music to my ears. After the NFL season ends and before March Madness, sports can be a little boring. The Caps are playing awesome(that's a bonus) but living in Florida, March means Spring Training.My goal this year is to attend as many games as possible, at as many different venues as possible. I will then report back here with grades on the venues, food, etc. Now the fact that I usually work 6 days and 70 hours a week will put a slight rain on the party, but I will persevere.

The good news is that Spring Training is starting a week early, due to the WBC. This means that I can squeeze a February game in, and I've already scored prime WBC tickets. The Phillies, Blue Jays, and Yankees are close by, so I'll be reporting on them. Oh, here's my report on the Yankees - A bunch of overpaid steroid abusers with asshole fans. Shitty stadium and overpriced tickets, food, and parking. Awesome, 1 post already down.

In other news the Orioles will be sending 37 Pitchers to camp....37? I hope they are bringing a lot of catchers also. Otherwise, Matt Wieters will be squatting more than me the day after a bacon explosion.

I'm excited for the games, cold beer, hot dogs, peanuts and cracker jacks. All in perfect weather in small venues where the crack of the bat sounds like a beautiful song. Play Ball!

Cheers and Hail

The Bacon Explosion Effect

To my wife, her girlfriends, and my mom... it's best for you all to skip this post and wait for the next one. Trust me.

The first time I laid eyes on the "bacon explosion" I'll admit that I was impressed, intimidated, and intrigued. It looked disgusting, but I had to try it, if not for anything else than to say that I did. My partners at work and I decided we were going to try and tackle this monster, and we put "Texas Mike" in charge of the cooking.

After reviewing the recipe for the explosion, "TM" thought it should have some chopped up jalapenos added to the mixture. Being from Texas he enjoys the heat, and felt the jalapenos would "kick it up a notch." OK, I'm in.

TM arrived to work on Monday morning carrying what appeared to be a 6 inch sub in aluminum foil. This mass of pig goes into your smoker or oven the size of a football, but comes out much smaller. Don't be worried, there will be plenty for everyone! TM thought we should cut up the roll and have BLT sandwiches for lunch. No way, bacon and sausage are breakfast foods, cut me off a slice beeeaaatttcchhhh.

The first bite was heaven. The combination of the salty bacon and sausage with the sweetness of the BBQ sauce and the spiciness of the jalapenos formed an explosion of culinary heaven in my mouth. I proceeded to eat 3 slices for breakfast. Others who tried it in the AM were not as high on it as I was. The reviews were anywhere from disgusting to just OK. Others were waiting till later in the day to try it. At this point, other than a normal morning cincinnati traffic jam, I'm doing well.

At 1pm it was time for lunch. The office wanted Taco Bell and I jumped on board with an order of 2 crispy tacos. A small order for sure from Taco Bell, but I wasn't real hungry, and besides that, I had big plans for my taco. Yep, on my 2 tacos I had 2 slices of bacon explosion and fire sauce! No one else dared to try this, in fact no one else is even trying the bacon explosion at all. But my creation was awesome, and there's some bacon explosion left for the ultimate BLT for dinner!

Here is where the story takes a turn. I wish I could tell you that I fought the good fight, and the BLT's were awesome, but I never made it. By dinner time I was sweating, shivering, had a terrible headache, and my boxer briefs were in the trash. The next 12-24 hours were rough to say the least. It would have been a good day to visit the doctor for a physical. The blood, urine, and stool sample would have been easy, I could have just handed over my underwear!

With all that being said, never again for me and the explosion. However, if your a "man's man," you've got to try this thing once! Just don't make any big plans for the next day.

Cheers and Hail

Random Thoughts

After 72 hours with no Internet access, my brain is going in too many different directions to compose a singular post. So, I'm gonna roll with bullet point random thoughts.

• A-Rod. A couple more thoughts from his interview. Did he just lay out by the pool (pink cheeks?) until Martha Stewart was finished setting up the interview room? I think we need to put "the church lady" in front of the baby grand piano and let's get some fresh cut flowers in here. And what's up with the A-Rod GNC references? Is he getting an endorsement deal with them? "I'm not sure if I tested positive for the Hydroxycut I got from GNC, or the Muscle Milk I got from GNC, or maybe it was that NEEDLE FULL OF STEROIDS I JAMMED IN MY ASS?
• Orioles 2nd basemen with AIDS. What are the chances that 2 different Orioles 2nd basemen would get AIDS? Pretty good I guess. Robbie Alomar reportedly has the virus. Alan Wiggins (who played for the O's in the 80's) died of the disease in 1991. The rumor always was that Robbie spits and Brady swallows. Oh yeah, Mary Pierce needs to get tested.
• For Pete's sake. Please, can we now make Pete Rose eligible for the Hall of Fame? We have 15 years of cheating players that will one day grace the Hall, let's get Pete in there. Sure he gambled on his own team to win, but he had more hits than anyone in the history of the game! And he did it with no PEDS, only hair plugs and a parlay on the Reds and the over. He's Charlie freakin Hustle!
• Brett Favre retires. Who cares?
• Bill Parcels has an "expanded escape clause." This guy has never finished any job he's ever started, and never saw a grass that wasn't greener. So if you've signed him to a new contract with an opt-out where he can still collect 12 million, I'd have a Plan B in effect.
• It's not what you know it's who you know. Jim Zorn has filled his 2 coaching openings with people with ties to him. Chip Garber coached with Zorn at the U of Minnesota, he's your new D-quality control coach. Scott Wachenheim coached with Zorn @ Utah State, he's your new TE coach. I was pulling for Bill Khayat, he makes a mean mix-tape.

Cheers and Hail

A-Lob

McNamee's over there taking care of Clemens and Giambi, he's got plenty left for us!

When you just got called out as a cheat and a liar, how do you put the spin on it? Well start by scheduling an interview with the 90 year old guy from ESPN who acts like everyone's grandpa. Those questions were lobbed up to A-Rod like it was batting practice. Don't hammer him into answering the fact that he cheated, or that he has lied to the public for several years. Let him lump his failed marriage and huge contract into the mix to try to seek extra sympothy.

Most people who have watched baseball and saw Barry Bonds break the all-time HR record all thought it was done thru cheating. And we all said "wait till A-Rod breaks it, then we'll know the record is clean again." Well guess what, we were wrong. Truth is, there is no player playing the game today that we could trust to have played their entire careers clean. MLB needs to release all the names of the players that tested positive, and acknowledge once and for all that we have an official steroid era. Then, move on.

The true all-time HR champion for now and maybe all time, is Hammerin Hank. Yep, the guy who in his 40's was declining statistically, not hitting more home runs. The guy with the big beer gut, and his skills eroding him. Not 40lbs heavier in muscle and going thru a training regimen like Ivan Drago.

Cheers and Hail

Donovan Mcnabb Is A Tool

Donovan Mcnabb will never get it. Another Philly playoff loss has him pointing
the finger at everyone but himself. It's always the Defense's fault. Whether it
was the Superbowl loss to the Pats, the NFC Championship loss to the Rams, or
this years NFC Championship. Here's what Mcnabb had to say about his teammates...

___________________________________________________________________

In the latest example of not-so-fearless leadership, McNabb hinted
-- and not very subtly, either -- that the Eagles' defense was to blame for the
NFC championship loss in Arizona. McNabb was on WIP-AM (610) recently when he
was asked why the Birds could not score another touchdown after the Cardinals
took a 32-25 lead."We were up, 25-24," McNabb said. Then, in case people missed
it the first time, he repeated it for good measure.
"We were up, 25-24. [The
Cardinals] drove down 72 yards by running the ball - probably, what, eight
times? And it reminded me so much of [the NFC championship game in] St. Louis
where, coming back in that second half, they ran the ball nine times with
Marshall Faulk to keep our offense off the field. Because they were terrified of
us going back out and scoring more points."

______________________________________________________

So let's see, falling behind 24-6 had nothing to do with the loss. Said Quarterback going 13-23, 129yds, 0 TD's, 1 INT, and 1 fumble played no roll in the deficit. And of course, how could you not expect a Defense to hold a 1 point lead with 11 minutes to go in the game.

This guy is a leader! Philly should give him the extension he wants right now and continue to hitch their wagon to this loser. One things for sure, if the wagon is like his passes, it's going to be a bouncy ride!

Cheers and Hail

Fat Boy On A Diet...Don't Even Try It

I can hear myself getting fatter.

If you're like me, football season brings great excitement, lots of trash talking, a few tears, and a couple extra lb's. Yes, a football game goes hand in hand with chicken wings, pizza, crock pots, and beers (it's just not the same without them.) And if you're like me, you promise to start a diet as soon as the season is over. Well, I've finally found a reason to watch the Pro Bowl, one more super-bad blowout meal!

Before I start a diet I always need to have the perfect day of eating and drinking the day before. And this my friends, is a fine line. Sometimes I eat too much, taking away from my drinking. Sometimes I drink too much, and forget too eat enough. We're dealing with some serious shit here! So I have to repeat the same patterns day after day until I find some even ground.

Super Bowl Sunday should have been the day to end my Chris Farley like bender. Chili was the meal of the day so I went to the grocery store to gather my items. But, rib eyes were on sale at a price I could not pass up. So what did I have on my chili? Hot sauce, crackers, and STEAK!

So I'm thinking that if I cook these 2 meals that I found Super Bowl week, the meal will be so bad that it's either going to kill me, or force me to diet no matter what. Ladies and gentlemen, your Pro Bowl menu.

The Bacon Explosion

(I'm pretty sure the bacon isn't the only thing exploding!)

Twinkie Stadium

Keep me in your thoughts.

Cheers and Hail

Cooley's Last Pro Bowl...I Hope So?

(this post originally appeared at The Cooley Zone)

I mean that in a positive way.

You see, starting next season the Pro Bowl will be held the week before the Super Bowl. Moving forward, the participants in the Super Bowl will not be allowed to play in the Pro Bowl. So, while I'm sure CC will be elected to the next 6 or 7 Pro Bowls, my hope is that he will be busy preparing for the Super Bowl, thus making him unavailable to play in the actual game.

And from Chris and Christy's point of view, how much will they miss the Pro Bowl? I'm guessing little, at best. The Pro Bowl is also moving from Hawaii to the Super Bowl host city. So while the words

"Christy, pack your bags we're headed to the big island," sounds like an awesome time...




"Christy, pack your bags we're headed to Indianapolis," just doesn't have the same ring.


The decision to move the Pro Bowl only makes $ense to the NFL. Get the players and fans into the NFL host city ASAP to start spending money. Never mind that the 2 teams in the Super Bowl usually have the most Pro Bowlers (Arizona and Pittsburgh have 7 starters in this years Pro Bowl.)

The truth of the matter is this, little to zero NFL fans watch, nor care about the Pro Bowl. It's an exhibition game equivalent to pre-season. So until the NFL can find a way to make the game significant in some fashion (any ideas?) keep it in Hawaii.

I'm sure the players enjoy the time they spend in Hawaii, and it's a nice vacation for them and their wives. The Pro Bowl has been in Hawaii for over 30 years, why change it now? Let the players heal their bodies after the season, then "hang loose" for a week with their families and friends. They certainly deserve it.


Cheers and Hail

Michael Phelps: Token White Guy

Just say no to Michael Phelps

By now, you've seen the photo of Michael Phelps smoking marijuana, so I'm not going to post it again here. But I am asking myself a serious question. One that the public, his sponsors, and the IOC should be asking themselves, why the free pass?
In less than 24 hours after the pictures were released, all was well between Phelps, the IOC, and most of Phelp's sponsors. How can that be? He's the single most recognizable athlete to young Americans, and they are going to condone him doing drugs? I'm sorry, but I'm calling bull shit on this one. I can't help but wonder, if it wasn't Phelps, if it was a black sprinter, or a Clinton Portis, what would be happening to them right now?
My guess is they would be dropped like a hot potato from their sponsors and facing punishment from the IOC or the NFL. They may also be labeled trouble makers or hoodlums.
Charles Barkley lost his job for getting a DUI last month. This latest incident with Phelps just adds to his resume. He had a DWI back in 2004, now he's smoking pot. The SI Sportsman of the year, the guy on children's cereal boxes, and the guys kids are immolating right now at a pool near you.
With every week after the Olympics past, Phelps was seen somewhere partying. New York City, Miami Beach, or Vegas. I don't think that's the type of role model our children of today need. I liked Phelps, and I rooted for him for 2 weeks last summer. But I'm gonna pass on grass, no free rides from me.
I'll just leave you with this. If your child sits down in front of a computer today and googles Michael Phelps, what are they going to see?

Look, It's Billy Bob Thornton...Super Bowl Edition

Bruce Springsteen

Max Cady






Mike Tomlin




Chris Tucker





Jeff Reed

Pauly Shore

Hines Ward

Margaret Cho

Cheers and Hail