My Fantasy Thoughts of the Week (that don't include Nadine Velazquez)

I have 4 Fantasy Football teams this year. Well, one of them is Rebecca's, but I am the GM in charge of all personnel decisions. This requires a lot of research each week to ensure I am putting the best possible teams on the field. I have dedicated several hours each Thursday night to research. So far it seems to be paying off as my teams are a combined 10-4-1 (one league is a salary cap league, rotisserie style). Although I mess around with 4 teams, there is still only one team, and one league. In The League this week, my little brother is gonna remember the ass beatings I use to deliver to him when we were kids. Sorry in advance.
Here are my Studs for Week 6.
Studs
The Redskins - every player you have including D/ST. The Rams are 31st in the league on defense, allowing 412 yds per game. Campbell, Cooley, Moss, Portis, and maybe even Randle El have big games. Defensively, the Skins have practiced against an Al Saunders Offense the past 2 years, and the Rams haven't been able to do anything offensively to date so far. Besides that, Cooley, CP, and Vladimir did a little Ram hunting this week.
QB's
Favre - 6 TD's in last outing, he's got the Bungles this week.
Frerotte - If they can't tackle AI, he may not get many chances. I still see at least 250yds and 2TD.
Mcnabb - He's been bitchin and cryin this week. Less than 200 yds the past 3 weeks. No Westbrook. Reid strokes him to 300 yds and 3 TD's.
Romo - Favre threw for 6 against the Cards, if he gets half that its 3!
RB's
R. Brown - "Wildcat" until further notice.
Jacobs - The Browns suck against the run, and the Giants are riding him.
Peterson - He's going against the Lions, enough said.
Pittman - Young is out, I think it's Pittman, not Hall that takes advantage. Shanahan likes lots of RB's like Gruden likes lots of QB's.
WR's
Berrian - He seems to be Frerotte's go to guy, and well its the Lions.
Breaston - 16 catches for 199 yds in last 2 games. The Cards will be playing from behind again this week.
Desean Jackson - Brown is out and Curtis is still banged up. See Mcnabb above.
S. Smith - He always plays big against the Bucs.
Good luck with your teams, here's to another great and exciting week of NFL action.

Cheers and Hail!

Top 10 Comedies of All Time

Sometimes in life we are faced with difficult decisions, and I have given myself one here. How do I pick the greatest Comedy of all time? Well, I do have many hours spent reviewing the material listed in this blog, and I also think that I know everything. So, here are my choices for the top ten Comedies of all time. Do you agree, disagree? Share your comments.

#10 National Lampoon's Vacation /Fletch - There was a time when Chevy Chase was the funniest man on the planet, how did he lose it?

Best Lines - "You think you hate it now, wait till you drive it" "I'll have a bloody mary, a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwich"

#9 Slapshot - My thoughts on this movie are already well documented.

Best Line - "Here's to all that snatch in F-L-A"

#8 Clerks - Great movie, great dialogue. Made for 27k. Is this movie really 14 years old?

Best Line - "37? 37? Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"

#7 Animal House - Without this movie there is no Porky's, no Revenge of the Nerds, no American Pie, and another 100 movies like them.

Best Line - "They took the bar, the whole f'ing bar"

#6 Blazing Saddles - This movie could never play in a theater these days, no way. It is politically incorrect!

Best Lines - "We'll work up an old #6 on them"

#5 Ace Ventura - This movie could be #1. It's got sports, dick jokes, and people talking out of their asses.

Best Line - "Your gun is digging into my hip" "Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea"

#4 Tommy Boy - I miss Farley. A joy to watch.

Best Line - "Fat guy in a little coat" "Next thing you know there's money missing off your dresser and your daughter's knocked up"

#3 Old School - Finally a movie from the past 10 years that makes my list, am I just old and out of it? This movie has it all, great characters, storyline, and dialogue.

Best Line - "It's so good when it hits your lips" "I thought we were in the trust tree"

#2 Dumb and Dumber - Non-stop laughs from start to finish. Jim Carrey and the Farrelly Bros. at their best.

Best Line - "Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber" "Raider of the lost fart"

#1 Caddyshack - I can watch this movie with my eyes closed. Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Ted Knight, and Rodney. Like Old School they just turned the camera on and said - do your thing.

Best Line - "How'd ya like to mow my lawn, hmmm, hmmm?" I have to laugh, I outsmarted myself"

Honorable Mention:

Billy Madison, Christmas Vacation, Dirty Work, 40 Yr Old Virgin, Friday, The Jerk, Kingpin, Wedding Crashers

Standing on top of the World!

So, the first time I saw the Redskins 2008 schedule, my first reaction was, did Jerry Jones write this? I mean, come on, 3 divisional road games in the first 5 weeks? At Dallas, then at Philly? I originally was thinking 3-2, and I was going to be happy. After our less than stellar showing in week 1, I was going to be ok with 2-3. What they did today,had never been done in the history of the Washington Redskins. It took me about an hour and 4 beers to do the research, but no Redskins team has ever won back to back road games against Philly and Dallas. NEVER!


This team keeps amazing me. If this team were Kimbo Slice, they would have tapped out with 9 minutes to go in the first quarter. Down 14-0, momentum totally against them, crazy Philly fans fired up. The Skins picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and went to work. Slowly chipping away and letting the game come back to them. It didn't matter that the Eagles took Tana out of the game, Portis and Cooley carried us. No turnovers again, you don't realize how huge that is. Any offensive turnover the past 4 weeks could have resulted in a Redskins loss. Zorn showed us again today the difference between him and Gibbs. With a 4th and 1 and a little over 2 minutes to go, he went for it. And the Redskins delivered the dagger. Gibbs would have punted and put the game in Mcnabb's hands.

Sometimes, its all worth it. All the money I've lost betting with my heart. All the shit talking that I've had to take back after the Skins lose a game they should have won. All the tears, all the yelling, all the punching holes in drywall.

Yep, sometimes its all worth it. And tonight, I'm standing on top of the world (for a little while).

O, The Rays are Good

So this year marked the 11th straight season the Orioles have finished below .500. During the previous 10 seasons, the O's finished in fourth place. They could always count on the Rays to finish in the cellar. Now that the Rays are playing in October, I'm afraid my Orioles have a firm grip on last place.

After living in Northern VA for the first 30 years of my life, the O's are a part of me. I was 9 years old in 1983, when the O's beat the Phillies in the I95 series. This came the year after the O's took the Brewers to the last game of the season in 82. Orioles Magic indeed. I thought at the time the O's would win countless World Series (I bet Cal did too!). It's hard to imagine that we are so far removed from the glory days. How did it slip away so fast?

Baseball was my #1 sport growing up, the one that I excelled at. If there wasn't a baseball around, then it was wiffleball. When a wiffleball wasn't available, then a wad of paper and a stick would do just fine. And in everyone of those backyard, driveway, or living room games, I was imitating my heroes. Eddie Murray's crouched stance, Cal's upright/closed stance with the bat horizontal to the ground. Pitching the wiffleball like Jim Palmer, sliding in the rain like Rick Dempsey. The list could go on and on. Those days are long gone, but I keep hanging onto the hope that one day, things will be special again.

And that brings me to the Rays. For the last 4 years, I have lived here in Tampa. I knew this Ray's team was close to breaking out the past 2 seasons. I'm surprised it did not happen last year. I will guarantee you this, they will not be going away any time soon. They are loaded with young talent, and they have more stockpiled in their farm system. I am amazed to watch the community in which I live in rally behind this team. Everyone has Ray's fever. We have 2 year old kids getting blue Mohawks, we have 60 year old politicians getting Mohawks. A new stadium is also on the horizon, a beautiful outdoor stadium, right on the Gulf of Mexico. It's a great time to be a fan of the Tampa Bay Rays.

But, you'll never see a blue Ray's hat on this head. Sure, I'll pull for them to go all the way. I surely will be pulling for them if they face the Red Sox. Its easy for a lot of people to jump on the bandwagon and root for a winner. I can't do that. I've got to much invested in my O's. So while a team headed to the World Series, loaded with young talent, getting an awesome new stadium, sounds enticing, I'll pass. Give me my MLB Extra Innings for $250 again next year, because the O's are 0-0 right now, and my O's mug is half full!

And besides that, when my son and I play wiffleball, I do a great imitation of Nick Markakis.

That's How You Debate

VS

I will cover many topics on this blog, and I hope you find my thoughts on those subjects entertaining and funny. But, there are two subjects I believe you should keep to yourself. Politics and religion. I'll keep my borderline disturbing thoughts focused on sports, music, movies, and the Internet. With that being said, I found a clear winner tonight.

Just watch for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEflzeCGta4

The NFL - That's the End of the First Quarter

With the NFL regular season 25% finished, I thought it would be a great time to rank the top 20 teams, and give you my thoughts on each. I will do this again after week 8. Obviously, it's still very early in the season, and no one should be printing playoff tickets just yet. But that's not to say we have not had an exciting season already, full of excitement and drama. Many questions still remain, more coaches will be fired, more QB's will be benched. This all goes to show you why the NFL is not only the greatest sport on the planet, it's more entertaining to watch than any movie or TV show! If the NFL were a movie, no one could ever guess the ending, and the NFL has more plot twists than a M. Night Shyamaland movie.

"I see dead people, and they have stars on their helmets"

I can tell you the next month of this season will feature the BIG BAD NFC EAST beating up on teams like CIN, CLE, DET, SF, and STL.

#1 New York Giants - This pains me to rank them here. They beat 2 teams that have not won a game yet, but they are 3-0 and the defending champs.

#2 Tennessee Titans - They definitely have a top tier Defense that will carry them to the Playoffs. But at some point, it will be Jeff Fischer driving around depressed, because he has Kerry Collins as his QB.

#3 Washington Redskins - Everyone is on notice after last week. A playoff team last year, they are way better this season.

#4 Dallas Cowboys - The Cowboys will be fine as long as they are not playing the Skins or a playoff game. Oops, sucks for them!

#5 Buffalo Bills - I don't know a lot about this team, nor do I care to find out. But, they are 4-0.

#6 Philadelphia Eagles - Big showdown this weekend with the Skins. Ultimately, their playoff chances will hinge on how many games Mcnabb and Westbrook will miss due to injury. I don't like their chances.

#7 Pittsburgh Steelers - This team is banged up, and they have a tough schedule ahead. I think they win the division with a 9-7 record.

#8 Carolina Panthers - Big match up next week Vs. #9. It's a coin flip right now between the two.

#9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Brian Griese needs to take better care of the ball. I do like him in Fantasy this weekend vs Denver

#10 Denver Broncos - Easily the most exciting team to watch. The defense will have to be better to advance come playoff time.

#11 San Diego Chargers - They are 4 Pt's away from being 4-0. 2 bad calls away from being 4-0.

#12 Baltimore Ravens - If the D stays healthy, they could challenge the Steelers for the division. Did I really just write that?

#13 New England Patriots - They still are 18-1 in the regular season the past 2 years. I'm anxious to see how Cassel does coming off the bye week, and getting a lot of reps.

#14 Jacksonville Jaguars - This team will take them as far as Taylor and Drew can carry them, not Garrard. Where is the daunting Greg Williams D so far?

#15 Green Bay Packers - There is no such thing as a slight sprain to the throwing shoulder of your starting QB. They have no viable backup, where's Brett Favre?

#16 New York Jets - He's the starting QB for the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets! A bye this week followed by CIN, OAK, KC. That looks as good as Thanksgiving dinner!

#17 New Orleans Saints - The NFC version of the Broncos. Fun to watch, but a lot of things to work on to get to the playoffs.

#18 Indianapolis Colts - They are fading, but they will find a way to make the Playoffs this year. A little more concentration on the running game with Addai will help things.

#19 Chicago Bears - I really like this running back Forte, that was a great pick. Orton on the other hand?? B Lloyd made more big plays in 4 games with the Bears than he did in 2 seasons w/ the Skins.

#20 Minnesota Vikings - I still like this team to contend for the division. It will take a healthy AI the rest of the way.
#20 (tie) San Francisco 49er's - I also like this team to win a weak division. I still am drinking the Kool-aid on O'Sullivan.

The 21 teams above are the teams that I think still have a chance @ the playoffs. Here are 3 teams that have serious issues!

Oakland Raiders - Why does Al Davis write so many letters, and when did he turn into the Church Lady? Email somebody, or better yet, talk to them face to face. 3 years from now the Raiders will still be a 6-10 team, and Lane Kiffin will be coaching a perennial top 20 college program. Al, may the next letter you write be your resignation letter!

Cincinnati Bengals - Are they really this bad? Did Palmer and Ocho Cinco lose it that quickly? And did they really just pick up another guy with a lengthy criminal record? How about the first time Benson and Henry hit those Kentucky clubs? Lewis is done.

St. Louis Rams - With the seventh pick in the first round, the 22 Swinging Dicks select......Steven Jackson.

Reggie Dunlop R.I.P.

The world lost one of it's greatest actors and humanitarians this week with the passing of Paul Newman. Old Blue Eyes career spanned over 50 years, entertaining everyone from my grandparents (Cat on a Hot Tin Roof), to my 4 year old son (Cars). During that 50+ years he was married to the same woman. "Why go out for hamburger, when you got steak at home?" In between, he raised over $250 Million dollars for charity. A charity that started off by selling salad dressing. Makes you wonder what we all may be capable of?

My favorite Paul Newman movie of all time is Slap Shot. This film could arguably be called the best sports movie of all-time. Its definitely got to make every ones top 5. The dialogue in this movie is awesome. Take a look at this classic scene from the fashion show

So I invite you guys to celebrate a real man's man. Pop "Slap Shot", "Cool Hand Luke", or "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid", in the old DVD player. Get yourself something to snack on like Newman's Own Salsa w/ Chips, or some Newman's Own popcorn, and grab a cold one. Because its true what they say "they just don't make them like they used to".