The All-Time Greatest Fantasy Football Team

You ever wonder what would be the greatest fantasy football team ever? Well wonder no more, here it is in all it's glory. This isn't a list of the greatest fantasy players of all-time, but a list of the greatest fantasy seasons from each position. Basic fantasy scoring was used to compile this list and no players were bumped up or omitted based upon my personal preferences...this is the real deal. I love the fact that players from the 50's,70's and 80's made the squad...with Ditka narrowly missing from the 60's. Here's the greatest fantasy football team ever:


QB



Starter
Tom Brady 07’
Before Giselle, Brady was a stud…4,800 yards and 50 TD’s passing plus another 2 more rushing as an added bonus.



Backup
Daunte Culpepper 04’
There was a time when Daunte was the greatest QB in fantasy…that time was the year before I drafted him in the first round, otherwise known as the year before he blew out his knee and was never the same. 4,717 yards passing to go along with 406 rushing and 41TD’s in 04’.

(honorable mention (H.M) Marino 84’, Young 98’, Manning 04’)

RB



Starters
Marshall Faulk 00’
For 4-5 years straight every draft started with this guy’s name being called…in 2000 he peaked with 2,189 yards rushing/receiving and 26TD’s (in 14 games.)



Priest Holmes 03’
After Marshall stopped going # one, this guy replaced him and in 03’ he went off for 2,110 yards and 27TD’s.




Emmitt Smith 95’
Emmitt turned his nearly 30 touches a game into 2,148 yards and 25TD’s in 95’.



Backups
Shaun Alexander 05’
Alexander set the record for rushing TD’s in 05’ with 27 and added 1,880 yards on the ground.



OJ Simpson 75’
In 73’ OJ rushed for 2000 yards, in 75’ he was better…2,243 total yards and 23TD’s in only 14 games!

(H.M. Craig 85’ T. Davis 98’, A. Green 03’)

WR



Starters
Randy Moss 07’
98 catches for 1,493 yards and a NFL record 23 receiving TD’s.



Jerry Rice 95’
Not the 87’ season w/ 23 TD’s in 95’ he had 122 receptions for 1,848 yards and 16TD’s.



Isaac Bruce 95’
Before the greatest show on turf Bruce was the man 119 rec’s 1,798 yds & 13TD’s.



Backups
Herman Moore 95’
95’ featured 3 of the best fantasy seasons ever by a WR, Moore went for 123-1,686-14.



Elroy Hirsch 51’
I love that someone makes this team that played in the 50’s…you can’t deny “Crazy Legs” stats, 17TD’s and 1,498 yards in a 12 game season!

(H.M. Clayton 84’, Carter 95’, Owens 01’)

Tight End



Starter
Antonio Gates 05’
The best season ever for a TE, 89-1,101-10.



Backup
Kellen Winslow 80’
He led the NFL with 89 catches, had 9TD’s and set a record for yards by a TE with 1,290.

(H.M. Ditka 61’ Gonzalez 00’)

Kicker



Starter
Jeff Wilkins 03'
Kicking for the greatest show on turf he nailed 39FG’s and 46XP’s plus 4FG’s of 50+.



Backup
Gary Anderson 98’
His 35FG’s, 59XP’s and 2FG’s of 50+ were nice….but his 34 points in weeks 15&16 helped a lot of folks win their leagues.

(H.M. Mosely 84’ Vanderjadt 03’)

Defense/Special Teams



Starter
Bears 85’
11 games under 10 pts allowed w/ 2 shutouts, 54 TO’s, 65 sacks and 7TD’s!



Backup
Raven’s 00’
11 games under 10 pts allowed w/ 4 shutouts, 49 TO’s, 35 sacks and 3TD’s.

(H.M. 91’ Redskins, 91’ Eagles)

Cheers and Hail

I Don't Like The Yankees So Much

If you google "reasons to hate the Yankees," over 4.5 million results show up. I don't have that many reasons to hate them, but as a lifelong Orioles fan...there are a few things about the Yankees that burn my ass!

#1 $200 Million payroll:

OK, we all know they spend more $$ than everyone else...big deal. $134 million more than the O's. I'd take the O's young and inexpensive talent over the Yankees old and declining roster any day!

#2 They win all the time:

This is a false statement. Mike Mussina pitched in New York the past 8 years, he has the same amount of World Series rings as I do. They had a dynasty from 96-2000. For the 25 years sandwiching that era...C*&K.



#3 The Fans

First of all, they all look like this guy.

Yankee fans don't like each other, let alone any other teams fans. They invade Camden Yards when the Yanks come to Baltimore. Yelling for Deerrrricckkk Jettterrr and Mariiiiianno Riiiverra. My favorite Yankees fans? The Japanese Matsui fans that don't speak English.
Look, you can go to almost any bar or store anywhere in America and see a Yankee hat or jersey. It's no big deal. There may be 2 guys in said bar or store with Yankee hats and they won't even acknowledge each other, because it's common place. But if your wearing an O's hat in Tampa, and another guy walks in the bar wearing the same hat...that's a kinship. You have a bond.



#2 Jeffrey Maier

Let's face it O's fans, baseball is full of curses...we have the Jeffrey Maier curse. Little prick.

#1 They score hot chicks

Why wouldn't they? They all have $100 million dollar contracts. Whether it's Jeter banging Minka Kelly...or for that matter nearly every girl from my Sweet 16 Hot Chick contest, or A-Rod tapping Kate Hudson and Madonna (it would have been more impressive for Craig Nettles to bang out Madonna, she was hotter back then.) But wait, it doesn't stop there, Jorge Posada (operation Dumbo drop) has a hot wife, CC Sabathia (weighs 330) is doing well for himself, and AJ Burnett's wife is smokin! I'm sure it doesn't stop there, hell...I bet Craig Nettles wife is still hot.

Karen Burnett (Maryland girl)

And for the record, if you google "reasons to hate the Orioles," you only get 190,000 results. We win.

Cheers and Hail

Redskins Greatest Draft Picks Round By Round

" Draft me, I'll take care of this little problem for the next 20 years!"

The NFL draft is upon us and the question is whom will the Redskins take in the first round? There is plenty of speculation about that going around. I decided to take a look back and choose my choices for the Redskins best picks, based upon the round they were drafted in. My picks are based from the 1980 draft on, since I've only been following football since that time. Also, my picks are based off how the players performed during their time with the Skins. So if they drafted a player that became a star somewhere else, they do not qualify. The Skins have also signed some UFA's that made a significant contribution during that time and I'll touch on them at a later date.

Rd 1 1983 Darrell Green CB Texas A&M
Played 20 seasons and 295 games with the Skins. 7 time Pro Bowler was first ballot HOF and one of the best ever at his position. 2 Super Bowl rings.
Honorable mention – Art Monk

Rd2 1999 Jon Jansen RT Michigan
Reliable lineman entering 9th season, started 120+ games

Rd3 1981 Russ Grimm G Pitt
4 Time Pro Bowler, 3 Super Bowl titles, Head Hog for 11 season
Honorable mention – Chris Cooley (could overtake Grimm with a couple more solid seasons,) Charles Mann

Rd4 1996 Steven Davis RB Auburn
Shook off the Michael Westbrook fight to become one of the NFL’s best backs for a brief period. Over 7 seasons he totaled nearly 7,000 yd’s and 48 Td’s.

Rd5 1981 Dexter Manley DE Oklahoma St
9 seasons and 2 Super Bowl wins. 91.5 sacks during that period and he was one of the most dominating defensive players of his era.
Honorable Mention – Brian Mitchell

Rd6 1986 Mark Rypien QB Washington St
1991 NFL & Super Bowl MVP played 6 seasons with the Skins. Threw for 15,000+ yds and totaled 109 TD’s. 2 Time Pro Bowler.
Honorable Mention – Ed Simmons

Rd7 1994 Gus Frerotte QB Tulsa
“In Gus we trust.” Underdog overtook Heath Schuler for starting QB and played 5 seasons for DC. Did make the Pro Bowl in 1996 and threw for nearly 10,000 yds and 51 Td’s.
Honorable Mention – Rock Cartwright (still playing could overtake Frerotte)

Rd8 1986 Kurt Gouveia LB BYU
Amassed 573 tackles with 7 Int’s during his 9 seasons with the Skins. 2 Super Bowl Rings.
Honorable Mention – Barry Wilburn

Rd9 1981 Darryl Grant G Rice
Played in over 140 games spanning 10 seasons. Started 3 Super Bowls, and scored INT return for TD in 1982 NFC Championship vs. Cowboys. Several 100+ tackle seasons.

Rd10 1989 Mark Schlereth G Idaho
“Stinky” played 75 games over 6 seasons winning a title in 1991.

Rd11 1985 Raleigh Mckenzie G Tennessee
Reliable lineman played in 144 games over 10 seasons with Skins, winning 2 titles.

Rd12 1981 Clint Dider WR Portland St
Played 6 seasons and won 2 Super Bowls with the Skins. 129 receptions and 19 Td’s.
Honorable Mention – Keenan Mccardle

Cheers and Hail

The NFL - That's The End Of The Second Quarter

At the end of the first quarter of the NFL season I posted my team rankings. At halftime, I give you my picks for the playoffs.

NFC

1. NYG 12-4

2. CAR 10-6

3. ARI 9-7

4. MIN 9-7

5. WAS 11-5

6. PHI 10-6

AFC

1. TEN 13-3

2. NE 10-6

3. PIT 9-7

4. DEN 9-7

5. IND 10-6

6. NYJ 10-6

I can't wait to see how it all shakes out!

Cheers and Hail

My Thirty List

When I was 28 years old I sat down and wrote a list of 30 things I was going to do before I turned the age of 30. I didn't do a very good job of crossing off my list. In fact, I'm now 34, and I still have quite a few things left to do. This list is kind of personal, but I thought by sharing it, some of you may have some ideas on how I can get these things accomplished. I broke down the list into separate categories. There is a twist to this story, please read thru to the bottom.

Hobbies/Goals

1. Study a 2nd Language - uhh, no

2. Study Boxing or a Martial Art - not even close

3. Learn to play the guitar - I don't even own Guitar Hero

4. Save more $$ - ahh hha

5. Get a dog - no, I think I've actually gotten another cat

6. Get married - yes, I'm the luckiest man in the world

7. Get pregnant - yes, my greatest accomplishment (my son, not the act of getting pregnant, although I was pretty good that night)

8. Meet someone famous - yes, I've had beers w/ Cal Ripken and Locke from Lost

9. Build something - no, unless a beer pyramid counts

10. Captain a boat - no, man in the boat overboard

11. Ride a motorcycle - yes, not sure why this was on the list, did it many time before the list

12. Donate time to charity - yes and no, lots of money, not enough time

Sports/Travel

13. Watch a baseball game @ Wrigley or Fenway - No

14. Go deep sea fishing - yes, I didn't know at the time that I was going to live on the Gulf of Mexico

15. Attend 1 of the following: World Series game, Super Bowl, HOF Induction, Final Four game - no, but the Super Bowl and maybe the World Series are here this year, I'm crossing my fingers for tickets

16. Visit NYC - no, how can this be?

Fitness/Health

17. Bench 200 - yes

18. Play in an organized baseball game - yes, it only cost me 4k

19. Shoot Less than 100 in golf - no, but I'm getting closer

20. Catch a citation fish - yes

21. Pass army fitness test - no, I haven't tried to, and I'm not ready to

22. Quit dipping - yes, after 15 years I did

23. Cutout fried foods - no, in fact I'm eating more foods that shouldn't be fried

24. Drink less - no, I forgot I even had a drinking problem 6 years ago

Fears

25. Ride a roller coaster - no, my fear of heights I haven't conquered

26. Go to the Dentist - Yes!

27. Go to the Doctor - no

No wonder I cannot complete my list of 30 things. I am such a procrastinator, that I never even finished the list! And it took me almost 7 years to realize this!

So how about some help from you. I need 3 more things to do, 3 things to add to my list. I'd like to get these things wrapped up by the time I'm 38. That will allow me to put together my 40 list. So post your ideas in the comments section. I look forward to seeing them.

Cheers and Hail

Top 10 Comedies of All Time

Sometimes in life we are faced with difficult decisions, and I have given myself one here. How do I pick the greatest Comedy of all time? Well, I do have many hours spent reviewing the material listed in this blog, and I also think that I know everything. So, here are my choices for the top ten Comedies of all time. Do you agree, disagree? Share your comments.

#10 National Lampoon's Vacation /Fletch - There was a time when Chevy Chase was the funniest man on the planet, how did he lose it?

Best Lines - "You think you hate it now, wait till you drive it" "I'll have a bloody mary, a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwich"

#9 Slapshot - My thoughts on this movie are already well documented.

Best Line - "Here's to all that snatch in F-L-A"

#8 Clerks - Great movie, great dialogue. Made for 27k. Is this movie really 14 years old?

Best Line - "37? 37? Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"

#7 Animal House - Without this movie there is no Porky's, no Revenge of the Nerds, no American Pie, and another 100 movies like them.

Best Line - "They took the bar, the whole f'ing bar"

#6 Blazing Saddles - This movie could never play in a theater these days, no way. It is politically incorrect!

Best Lines - "We'll work up an old #6 on them"

#5 Ace Ventura - This movie could be #1. It's got sports, dick jokes, and people talking out of their asses.

Best Line - "Your gun is digging into my hip" "Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea"

#4 Tommy Boy - I miss Farley. A joy to watch.

Best Line - "Fat guy in a little coat" "Next thing you know there's money missing off your dresser and your daughter's knocked up"

#3 Old School - Finally a movie from the past 10 years that makes my list, am I just old and out of it? This movie has it all, great characters, storyline, and dialogue.

Best Line - "It's so good when it hits your lips" "I thought we were in the trust tree"

#2 Dumb and Dumber - Non-stop laughs from start to finish. Jim Carrey and the Farrelly Bros. at their best.

Best Line - "Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber" "Raider of the lost fart"

#1 Caddyshack - I can watch this movie with my eyes closed. Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Ted Knight, and Rodney. Like Old School they just turned the camera on and said - do your thing.

Best Line - "How'd ya like to mow my lawn, hmmm, hmmm?" I have to laugh, I outsmarted myself"

Honorable Mention:

Billy Madison, Christmas Vacation, Dirty Work, 40 Yr Old Virgin, Friday, The Jerk, Kingpin, Wedding Crashers

The NFL - That's the End of the First Quarter

With the NFL regular season 25% finished, I thought it would be a great time to rank the top 20 teams, and give you my thoughts on each. I will do this again after week 8. Obviously, it's still very early in the season, and no one should be printing playoff tickets just yet. But that's not to say we have not had an exciting season already, full of excitement and drama. Many questions still remain, more coaches will be fired, more QB's will be benched. This all goes to show you why the NFL is not only the greatest sport on the planet, it's more entertaining to watch than any movie or TV show! If the NFL were a movie, no one could ever guess the ending, and the NFL has more plot twists than a M. Night Shyamaland movie.

"I see dead people, and they have stars on their helmets"

I can tell you the next month of this season will feature the BIG BAD NFC EAST beating up on teams like CIN, CLE, DET, SF, and STL.

#1 New York Giants - This pains me to rank them here. They beat 2 teams that have not won a game yet, but they are 3-0 and the defending champs.

#2 Tennessee Titans - They definitely have a top tier Defense that will carry them to the Playoffs. But at some point, it will be Jeff Fischer driving around depressed, because he has Kerry Collins as his QB.

#3 Washington Redskins - Everyone is on notice after last week. A playoff team last year, they are way better this season.

#4 Dallas Cowboys - The Cowboys will be fine as long as they are not playing the Skins or a playoff game. Oops, sucks for them!

#5 Buffalo Bills - I don't know a lot about this team, nor do I care to find out. But, they are 4-0.

#6 Philadelphia Eagles - Big showdown this weekend with the Skins. Ultimately, their playoff chances will hinge on how many games Mcnabb and Westbrook will miss due to injury. I don't like their chances.

#7 Pittsburgh Steelers - This team is banged up, and they have a tough schedule ahead. I think they win the division with a 9-7 record.

#8 Carolina Panthers - Big match up next week Vs. #9. It's a coin flip right now between the two.

#9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Brian Griese needs to take better care of the ball. I do like him in Fantasy this weekend vs Denver

#10 Denver Broncos - Easily the most exciting team to watch. The defense will have to be better to advance come playoff time.

#11 San Diego Chargers - They are 4 Pt's away from being 4-0. 2 bad calls away from being 4-0.

#12 Baltimore Ravens - If the D stays healthy, they could challenge the Steelers for the division. Did I really just write that?

#13 New England Patriots - They still are 18-1 in the regular season the past 2 years. I'm anxious to see how Cassel does coming off the bye week, and getting a lot of reps.

#14 Jacksonville Jaguars - This team will take them as far as Taylor and Drew can carry them, not Garrard. Where is the daunting Greg Williams D so far?

#15 Green Bay Packers - There is no such thing as a slight sprain to the throwing shoulder of your starting QB. They have no viable backup, where's Brett Favre?

#16 New York Jets - He's the starting QB for the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets! A bye this week followed by CIN, OAK, KC. That looks as good as Thanksgiving dinner!

#17 New Orleans Saints - The NFC version of the Broncos. Fun to watch, but a lot of things to work on to get to the playoffs.

#18 Indianapolis Colts - They are fading, but they will find a way to make the Playoffs this year. A little more concentration on the running game with Addai will help things.

#19 Chicago Bears - I really like this running back Forte, that was a great pick. Orton on the other hand?? B Lloyd made more big plays in 4 games with the Bears than he did in 2 seasons w/ the Skins.

#20 Minnesota Vikings - I still like this team to contend for the division. It will take a healthy AI the rest of the way.
#20 (tie) San Francisco 49er's - I also like this team to win a weak division. I still am drinking the Kool-aid on O'Sullivan.

The 21 teams above are the teams that I think still have a chance @ the playoffs. Here are 3 teams that have serious issues!

Oakland Raiders - Why does Al Davis write so many letters, and when did he turn into the Church Lady? Email somebody, or better yet, talk to them face to face. 3 years from now the Raiders will still be a 6-10 team, and Lane Kiffin will be coaching a perennial top 20 college program. Al, may the next letter you write be your resignation letter!

Cincinnati Bengals - Are they really this bad? Did Palmer and Ocho Cinco lose it that quickly? And did they really just pick up another guy with a lengthy criminal record? How about the first time Benson and Henry hit those Kentucky clubs? Lewis is done.

St. Louis Rams - With the seventh pick in the first round, the 22 Swinging Dicks select......Steven Jackson.