Random Thoughts

After 72 hours with no Internet access, my brain is going in too many different directions to compose a singular post. So, I'm gonna roll with bullet point random thoughts.

• A-Rod. A couple more thoughts from his interview. Did he just lay out by the pool (pink cheeks?) until Martha Stewart was finished setting up the interview room? I think we need to put "the church lady" in front of the baby grand piano and let's get some fresh cut flowers in here. And what's up with the A-Rod GNC references? Is he getting an endorsement deal with them? "I'm not sure if I tested positive for the Hydroxycut I got from GNC, or the Muscle Milk I got from GNC, or maybe it was that NEEDLE FULL OF STEROIDS I JAMMED IN MY ASS?
• Orioles 2nd basemen with AIDS. What are the chances that 2 different Orioles 2nd basemen would get AIDS? Pretty good I guess. Robbie Alomar reportedly has the virus. Alan Wiggins (who played for the O's in the 80's) died of the disease in 1991. The rumor always was that Robbie spits and Brady swallows. Oh yeah, Mary Pierce needs to get tested.
• For Pete's sake. Please, can we now make Pete Rose eligible for the Hall of Fame? We have 15 years of cheating players that will one day grace the Hall, let's get Pete in there. Sure he gambled on his own team to win, but he had more hits than anyone in the history of the game! And he did it with no PEDS, only hair plugs and a parlay on the Reds and the over. He's Charlie freakin Hustle!
• Brett Favre retires. Who cares?
• Bill Parcels has an "expanded escape clause." This guy has never finished any job he's ever started, and never saw a grass that wasn't greener. So if you've signed him to a new contract with an opt-out where he can still collect 12 million, I'd have a Plan B in effect.
• It's not what you know it's who you know. Jim Zorn has filled his 2 coaching openings with people with ties to him. Chip Garber coached with Zorn at the U of Minnesota, he's your new D-quality control coach. Scott Wachenheim coached with Zorn @ Utah State, he's your new TE coach. I was pulling for Bill Khayat, he makes a mean mix-tape.

Cheers and Hail

A-Lob

McNamee's over there taking care of Clemens and Giambi, he's got plenty left for us!

When you just got called out as a cheat and a liar, how do you put the spin on it? Well start by scheduling an interview with the 90 year old guy from ESPN who acts like everyone's grandpa. Those questions were lobbed up to A-Rod like it was batting practice. Don't hammer him into answering the fact that he cheated, or that he has lied to the public for several years. Let him lump his failed marriage and huge contract into the mix to try to seek extra sympothy.

Most people who have watched baseball and saw Barry Bonds break the all-time HR record all thought it was done thru cheating. And we all said "wait till A-Rod breaks it, then we'll know the record is clean again." Well guess what, we were wrong. Truth is, there is no player playing the game today that we could trust to have played their entire careers clean. MLB needs to release all the names of the players that tested positive, and acknowledge once and for all that we have an official steroid era. Then, move on.

The true all-time HR champion for now and maybe all time, is Hammerin Hank. Yep, the guy who in his 40's was declining statistically, not hitting more home runs. The guy with the big beer gut, and his skills eroding him. Not 40lbs heavier in muscle and going thru a training regimen like Ivan Drago.

Cheers and Hail

Donovan Mcnabb Is A Tool

Donovan Mcnabb will never get it. Another Philly playoff loss has him pointing
the finger at everyone but himself. It's always the Defense's fault. Whether it
was the Superbowl loss to the Pats, the NFC Championship loss to the Rams, or
this years NFC Championship. Here's what Mcnabb had to say about his teammates...

___________________________________________________________________

In the latest example of not-so-fearless leadership, McNabb hinted
-- and not very subtly, either -- that the Eagles' defense was to blame for the
NFC championship loss in Arizona. McNabb was on WIP-AM (610) recently when he
was asked why the Birds could not score another touchdown after the Cardinals
took a 32-25 lead."We were up, 25-24," McNabb said. Then, in case people missed
it the first time, he repeated it for good measure.
"We were up, 25-24. [The
Cardinals] drove down 72 yards by running the ball - probably, what, eight
times? And it reminded me so much of [the NFC championship game in] St. Louis
where, coming back in that second half, they ran the ball nine times with
Marshall Faulk to keep our offense off the field. Because they were terrified of
us going back out and scoring more points."

______________________________________________________

So let's see, falling behind 24-6 had nothing to do with the loss. Said Quarterback going 13-23, 129yds, 0 TD's, 1 INT, and 1 fumble played no roll in the deficit. And of course, how could you not expect a Defense to hold a 1 point lead with 11 minutes to go in the game.

This guy is a leader! Philly should give him the extension he wants right now and continue to hitch their wagon to this loser. One things for sure, if the wagon is like his passes, it's going to be a bouncy ride!

Cheers and Hail

Fat Boy On A Diet...Don't Even Try It

I can hear myself getting fatter.

If you're like me, football season brings great excitement, lots of trash talking, a few tears, and a couple extra lb's. Yes, a football game goes hand in hand with chicken wings, pizza, crock pots, and beers (it's just not the same without them.) And if you're like me, you promise to start a diet as soon as the season is over. Well, I've finally found a reason to watch the Pro Bowl, one more super-bad blowout meal!

Before I start a diet I always need to have the perfect day of eating and drinking the day before. And this my friends, is a fine line. Sometimes I eat too much, taking away from my drinking. Sometimes I drink too much, and forget too eat enough. We're dealing with some serious shit here! So I have to repeat the same patterns day after day until I find some even ground.

Super Bowl Sunday should have been the day to end my Chris Farley like bender. Chili was the meal of the day so I went to the grocery store to gather my items. But, rib eyes were on sale at a price I could not pass up. So what did I have on my chili? Hot sauce, crackers, and STEAK!

So I'm thinking that if I cook these 2 meals that I found Super Bowl week, the meal will be so bad that it's either going to kill me, or force me to diet no matter what. Ladies and gentlemen, your Pro Bowl menu.

The Bacon Explosion

(I'm pretty sure the bacon isn't the only thing exploding!)

Twinkie Stadium

Keep me in your thoughts.

Cheers and Hail

Cooley's Last Pro Bowl...I Hope So?

(this post originally appeared at The Cooley Zone)

I mean that in a positive way.

You see, starting next season the Pro Bowl will be held the week before the Super Bowl. Moving forward, the participants in the Super Bowl will not be allowed to play in the Pro Bowl. So, while I'm sure CC will be elected to the next 6 or 7 Pro Bowls, my hope is that he will be busy preparing for the Super Bowl, thus making him unavailable to play in the actual game.

And from Chris and Christy's point of view, how much will they miss the Pro Bowl? I'm guessing little, at best. The Pro Bowl is also moving from Hawaii to the Super Bowl host city. So while the words

"Christy, pack your bags we're headed to the big island," sounds like an awesome time...




"Christy, pack your bags we're headed to Indianapolis," just doesn't have the same ring.


The decision to move the Pro Bowl only makes $ense to the NFL. Get the players and fans into the NFL host city ASAP to start spending money. Never mind that the 2 teams in the Super Bowl usually have the most Pro Bowlers (Arizona and Pittsburgh have 7 starters in this years Pro Bowl.)

The truth of the matter is this, little to zero NFL fans watch, nor care about the Pro Bowl. It's an exhibition game equivalent to pre-season. So until the NFL can find a way to make the game significant in some fashion (any ideas?) keep it in Hawaii.

I'm sure the players enjoy the time they spend in Hawaii, and it's a nice vacation for them and their wives. The Pro Bowl has been in Hawaii for over 30 years, why change it now? Let the players heal their bodies after the season, then "hang loose" for a week with their families and friends. They certainly deserve it.


Cheers and Hail

Michael Phelps: Token White Guy

Just say no to Michael Phelps

By now, you've seen the photo of Michael Phelps smoking marijuana, so I'm not going to post it again here. But I am asking myself a serious question. One that the public, his sponsors, and the IOC should be asking themselves, why the free pass?
In less than 24 hours after the pictures were released, all was well between Phelps, the IOC, and most of Phelp's sponsors. How can that be? He's the single most recognizable athlete to young Americans, and they are going to condone him doing drugs? I'm sorry, but I'm calling bull shit on this one. I can't help but wonder, if it wasn't Phelps, if it was a black sprinter, or a Clinton Portis, what would be happening to them right now?
My guess is they would be dropped like a hot potato from their sponsors and facing punishment from the IOC or the NFL. They may also be labeled trouble makers or hoodlums.
Charles Barkley lost his job for getting a DUI last month. This latest incident with Phelps just adds to his resume. He had a DWI back in 2004, now he's smoking pot. The SI Sportsman of the year, the guy on children's cereal boxes, and the guys kids are immolating right now at a pool near you.
With every week after the Olympics past, Phelps was seen somewhere partying. New York City, Miami Beach, or Vegas. I don't think that's the type of role model our children of today need. I liked Phelps, and I rooted for him for 2 weeks last summer. But I'm gonna pass on grass, no free rides from me.
I'll just leave you with this. If your child sits down in front of a computer today and googles Michael Phelps, what are they going to see?

Look, It's Billy Bob Thornton...Super Bowl Edition

Bruce Springsteen

Max Cady






Mike Tomlin




Chris Tucker





Jeff Reed

Pauly Shore

Hines Ward

Margaret Cho

Cheers and Hail