Hot Chick Tournament: The Great 8

Well the results are in from the first round of the hot chick tourney. Thanks to everyone for voting, I especially enjoyed the feedback from some of you on your reasons for your choices. Rachel Bilson whipped up on Minka Kelly, and the battle of the Jessicas was tight...but Alba prevailed. Cuthbert came out of nowhere to edge out Kunis, and Miller dominated Mendez. Fox whipped up on Anniston while Velasquez handled Aguilera. In the tightest matchup , Scarlett beat Audrina by one vote (disappointing me.) The most lopsided matchup saw Hough wipe the floor with Diaz.

Here are your Great 8 matchups:

Rachel Bilson

VS

Jessica Alba

Elisha Cuthbert

VS.

Marissa Miller

Megan Fox

VS.

Nadine Velasquez

Scarlett Johannson

VS.

Julianne Hough

Cheers and Hail

The Backyard Wrestling Association

With Wrestlemania 25 coming this week, it got me reminiscing about the love affair that I had with the sport as a child. There was a window in time where professional wrestling was bigger than any other sport for me. This era of time also represented the biggest growth the sport of professional wrestling ever saw.



When I first started to watch wrestling, it was just a Saturday morning show in syndication. This was your only opportunity to watch wrestling. The only other update you could get during the week was from George Michael. He always had highlights on Wrestling Wednesdays. In fact, it was here that I learned that Hulk Hogan was the new WWF Champion. Hulkamania ran wild, and the next thing you know wrestling was everywhere. Saturday Night's Main Event, Wrestlemania, Royal Rumbles, and Summer Slams.

So what does a 13 year old kid who watches wrestling all the time do in his spare time?

#1. He practices all his wrestling moves on his 7 year old brother. My brother Steven was piledrived, figure 4 leglocked, and camel clutched until he screamed bloody murder.

#2. He and his friends create the BWA. The Backyard Wrestling Association.

The BWA was comprised of Artie (the only person I could bodyslam or piledrive) Mike, Adrian, Bigboy(the One Man Gang of the crew) and myself. I cut an imposing figure when I entered the squared circle at the age of thirteen. And in this corner... standing 5'5" and weighing in at 105 lbs (according to my baseball card.) My wrestling attire consisted of a pair of O.P. shorts, Air Jordan high tops, and the most beautiful mullet you've ever seen. I came into the ring to "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi. It's all caught on tape, we filmed the whole thing including our "promos" during the week.

Like my baseball/football card collecting, wrestling faded out of my life as I grew a little older and started making out with girls. Other than a brief period of time where I followed The Rock and Goldberg, wrestling faded away a long time ago. But it still reminds me of an awesome summer of my life spent in the backyard....

...and it's the reason I got excited a few years ago when I learned that Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake were at my work. Hulk Hogan was a different kind of celebrity to meet. When you meet someone who was on your lunchbox and had his own action figure...it's a little different. So as I stood there toe to toe with Terry (definitely not 6'7', maybe not 6'4") I shook his mammoth hand and I said "hey Hulkster" and he replied "What's up bruuthhherrrrr?"

Whatcha gonna do?

Cheers and Hail

LazyJC: Fun for Everyone (Even the Wife!)

Fatpickle's note: Please help me in welcoming LazyJC to Fatpickled. True to his nickname, he has finally produced his first post... 3 months after being hired. JC studied journalism at JMU, his mom is an English teacher, and he's also a teacher himself. All of that makes him overqualified for this blog. I've enjoyed his dry humor and knowledge of sports for many years, hope you guys do too. Welcome aboard JC.

While I'm watching my tournament brackets get completely busted (I've never put faith in Jim Boeheim and his crappy zone defense before, why did I do it now?) it's still hard for the smile to go away. Quite simply, this is the best time for a sports fan to be alive. And I say that with a solid history of being a fanatic supporter of the NFL and college football, yet there's no pigskin in sight.

At the beginning of March Madness, my wife usually gets mad, knowing that I'll be plastered in front of the TV throughout Rivalry Week, Conference Championship Week, and then every Thursday through Sunday during the actual NCAA Tournament (not to mention the NIT games during the rest of the week). She whines and cries that there's always a game on, and I'll put college basketball before her in my priorities (and says it like it's a bad thing). For a time, she'll banish herself to the bedroom, while I watch in the living room, sprawled on the couch. I've always asked her to watch with me, and she'll retort that I don't really want her to (honestly, as long as she's quiet, I don't mind). However, even she isn't immune from the pull of the bracket. There she was, yelling at the TV, as her father's alumnus, Villanova, struggled in their opening round game against American University.Knowing I'd picked them to make it to the Elite Eight, she watched with me as they dispatched UCLA, and, while she didn't stay up to see the Wildcats whip-up on Duke, she did ask if I was going to DVR it.

In the back of her mind, she knows that this late March - early April orgy of sports entertainment doesn't stop with college basketball. If the tournament isn't on, there's a spring training game on. Or a playoff-chase NHL game, or an NFL draft anaylysis, or a pre-Master's tune-up PGA Tour event. The best thing about this time of year, is that my wife is right, there's always something on! While there's a lot less drama on frozen pond this season, as my beloved Washington Capitals are securely in control of their division, she remembers last season's mad dash to the playoffs, and we watched every second of their push for the postseason, jumping around like the crazy Russian kids that play for the Caps, going nuts after every goal (I've asked Ted Leonsis if he'd change the team's motto from "Rock the Red", to "Rock the Red Army", as half the squad is comprised of Ruskies, fun to watch Ruskies, I'll add).





Just when the Madness subsides, Opening Day is here, as is the tradition like no other. The first week of April brings us the shouts of "Play Ball!", and the hushed tones of Jim Nance calling the action at Augusta National. Again, though not a sports fan, my wife will gladly skip work with me to watch every Opening Day game that's televised, and she'd never miss watching Tiger, or anyone for that matter, play Amen Corner. How could things be better? Perhaps we should begin petitioning Churchill Downs to move the Kentucky Derby up a few weekends, just to get it into the mix.

Anyway, though March has just flown by, and April will come an go just as quickly, remember that it's okay to take it all in. This is what we sports fans live for (at least until training camp opens), stop and smell the azaelas. Just pick a few for the wife, so you don't get into too much trouble.

LazyJC

Sweet 16 Hot Chick Tournament

Welcome to the 1st annual Fatpickled Hot Chick Tournament. I have compiled a list of 16 hot chicks, and randomly matched them up against one another (on top of one another, swapped them around with each other, I got a lot of time invested thinking about them, oops I mean this post.) We'll have 5 days to vote on the original 16 before we pair it down to the elite 8, then final four, and ultimately the Champion. You can vote by leaving your picks in the comments section, or by emailing me. Here are your contestants, there are some very hard decisions to make right off the bat. I mean chinese arithmetic hard. But if you all use your heads, you'll figure it out.


Minka Kelly vs. Rachel Bilson

Jessica Biel vs. Jessica Alba

Elisha Cuthbert vs. Mila Kunis

Marisa Miller vs. Eva Mendes

Megan Fox vs. Jennifer Anniston

Christina Aguilera vs. Nadine Velazquez

Scarlett Johansson vs. Audrina Patridge

Cameron Diaz vs. Julianne Hough

Cheers and Hail

WBC, It's Worth Watching

There's been a lot of debate as to whether anyone cares about the WBC...I will tell you that the players and coaches of Team USA definitely do. The players fom Team USA have bonded in a short amount of time to form a great TEAM. They are playing with the enthusiasm of a group of twelve year old all-stars, who are advancing to Williamsport, PA. Right now, baseball is not a job that last 162 games, plus spring training, plus the playoffs. Baseball is a game. Team USA has had to overcome injuries, and their depth is down right frightening. The pitching staff is not deep on talent.

I've enjoyed watching them and have found myself rooting for guys I downright despise. There I am cheering for Kevin Youkilis to get a hit, clapping when Jeter makes a nice play (his range is deteriorating by the way.) I mean it's hard to root for Youkilis. His look, his stance...who holds a bat like that, wtf. But I laughed my ass off when he took off Wright's helmet after the walk-off, and acted like he was a fullback breaking away from the pack. If that shit went down against the O's, I might have broken my TV.

Brian Roberts has provided a huge spark for Team USA. While Dustin Pedroia is home nursing his pulled labia, Roberts is playing like the team MVP. In 3 games Roberts has 6 hits, scored 5 runs, walked 3 times, and has stolen a base.

Team USA has also found a special fan in Sgt. Felix Perez, I would ask you to read this article for his story with Team USA. Team USA will be paying for Sgt. Perez to come and watch them compete for the WBC title this weekend at Dodger Stadium in LA. Playing for the US and representing our country means something to these guys.

So on Sunday evening after your march madness fix is over, tune in to ESPN and support our team in the semi-final. Should they win Sunday, they will be playing for the Championship on Monday night.

I will be watching...and I hope to see something like this.

Cheers and Hail

Let The Madness Begin

There it is.. my official bracket. The madness starts tomorrow and I'll probably see more college basketball tomorrow than I have all year (I have watched zero NBA!) This bracket was filled out in one swift stroke of the pen. No scratch-outs, no crumpled up brackets thrown in the trash, and no other brackets lying around with different picks. I feel pretty good about it.

Tomorrow is also the day that results in more people calling in sick to work than any other day. I don't know the number of lost profit that results from the lack of manpower, but I'm hoping our fragile economy can handle it. I actually think it's a great day for the economy. Workers will be paid to sit at their favorite Pubs to eat, drink and be merry. The bars make $$, the waiters/waitresses make $$, and the bookies make lots of $$!

Since I've started this blog I haven't spent a lot of time talking about my love for the Terps. I'm a huge fan and feel that they are the one team that has let me down the least in the past 10-15 years. NCAA Champs, ACC Champs, and even when they have down years they find a way to beat Duke and UNC! Go TERPS!!

Cinderella story...

Cheers and Hail

A Rod REALLY Likes Himself

WTF???

Now I know when you do a photo shoot, the photographer asks you to loosen and up and "strike a pose," (Madonna pun intended.) Apparently after a couple shots of Patron, Alex likes to make a "booty call" to himself.

Alex: "ooohh, you look so sexy"

Alex: "come here here my big ball of testosterone Latin love"

These pictures were taken for an article in Details magazine. After the interview and photo shoot, Alex called back the author of the story to plead with him not to release Alex's favorite Madonna song in the article. A-Fraud feared the backlash of hearing the song played at opposing stadiums. I think he's already given Red Sox and O's fans enough ammunition (a couple of blow up dolls with #13 Yankee jerseys would be a good start.)

Well, he's got a couple of months to be alone with himself as he recovers from the surgery to remove the cyst on his hip. Don't cyst form where needles are repeatedly are used?

Cheers and Hail