Thursday, December 24, 2009

RIP George Michael

Legendary sportscaster George Michael passed away today at the age of 70 after a 2 year battle with a cancer…and a little piece of my childhood died with him.

Nationally known to television audiences for his Emmy award winning Sports Machine, George Michael was MY sportscaster. One of the great things about growing up in the NOVA area was being able to see George on a daily basis…I just shared him with the rest of the world on Sunday nights. George reported and covered many sports that others did not, including rodeo, NASCAR and professional wrestling. I looked forward to tuning in to see George’s “Wednesday Wrestling” segments. George also covered my beloved Redskins like no other sportscaster before or after him, and his shows like “Redskins Report” and “The Joe Theismann Show,” enabled inside looks at the team long before the Internet, ESPN and blogs that we have today.

The “George Michael’s Sports Machine” was a pioneering program that paved the way for SportsCenter and shows of the like. Long after ESPN 2 and SportsCenter started airing 24 hours a day, I continued to watch the Sports Machine. I’ve been humming the music that was played coming in and out breaks during the show all day. The Sports Machine is a piece of pop culture…and it reminds me of my childhood.

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Michael on 2 different occasions and I said the same thing to him each time “George, I loved you in Silence of the Lambs.” George would laugh that familiar laugh that I grew up listening too and say, “if you blinked you missed me.”

Well George, I didn’t miss you then…but I sure miss you now.

Cheers and Hail

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Lazy JC: How I Really Hate Em

Anyone who's know me for the past 32 years, would know, this week especially, that the title of this post would be directed at the Dallas Cowboys. I've hated them as far back as I can remember. Hated Danny White. Hated Randy White. Hated Ed "too tall" Jones, hated Tony Dorsett. Hated Tom Landry, even though I thought he was a class act, but he was a Cowboy. I even hated the Minnesota Vikings for several years, for making that awful Herschel Walker trade, which paved the way for the Cowboys to become good again. You know I hated Troy Aikman, Emmit Smith and Michael Irvin. Recently it's been easy to hate the Cowboys, they employed very hate-able clowns like T.O. and Pacman Jones. I met Tony Romo at Tiger Woods' event in Washington D.C. this past summer, and wanted to hate him, but he seemed like a nice guy. Then I saw that he could out drive me, and had a lower handicap, so can I hate him, again.

The problem with this week is, for the first time I can remember, I'm not sure if I want my Washington Redskins to blow the Cowboys off the field. In fact, there's a part of me that wants the opposite to happen. I'm as confused as I'm sure you are reading this.

Photo via D.C. Sports Bog

Let me explain. I've been a Redskins fan my entire life and, as most fans this year, am absolutely sick about the state of the team. I've tried to find the silver lining in the moves the team made the past few years, hiring the owner's racquetball partner as head of football operations, hiring an offensive coordinator before hiring a head coach, then, once they realized that no established coaches wants to come anywhere near this train wreck, hire said offensive coordinator to be the head coach, even though he'd never even been as much as a coordinator before. I've watched as they draft three receivers in the second round, while the offensive and defensive lines go neglected. Watched them throw huge signing bonuses at flash-in-the-pan players, while trading hard to come by commodities (like a shutdown cornerback), for easily obtained talent (productive running back). This year, I've watched the circus continue, as the racquetball partner proclaimed to everyone that the team had playoff talent, as they signed guys off the couch to bolster their terrible offensive line. Still, I tried to find the good in it all, the racquetball partner resigned. The son of one of the most recognizable and respected Redskin coaches was hired to run the team. They got a decent punter, for once. The kid they drafted in the first round has provided some badly needed pressure on the opposing quarterbacks, and the guy they threw $100 million at has helped him, during the 60% of defensive snaps that he plays. I thought that, perhaps, playing for a contract would bring out the best in the misused, damaged-goods quarterback who spent half of last season (and most of this season) pulling turf out of his helmet. At times, it has happened.

But, they started 2-6 against, arguably, the easiest schedule in football. The offensive coordinator-turned head coach was stripped of his play calling duties in favor of a guy who'd been volunteering at the bingo parlor. All a Redskins fan could do was endure the inevitable beatings that were sure to come, and wait longingly for that top pick in the draft next April.

Then the bastards knock Kyle Orton out of the game, make a few plays offensively, and beat the Denver Broncos, who'd started the season 6-0. They outplayed Dallas, Philly, and New Orleans for large stretches, before blowing all three games late. They go into Oakland and blow them out. Now, with a remade line paving the way for explosive runners Rock Cartwright, Quinton Ganther and Marcus Mason (huh?), the crappy, '09 Redskins, at times, have looked like the '83 Hogs. For a few games, at least. Still, last week's performance against the Giants, at home, on Monday night, leaves D.C. anxiously, but cautiously, waiting for the showdown with the Cowboys this Sunday. While I'm sure the Giants game reminded most fans that this is still a bad team with many fundamental problems, and everyone realizes that Dallas is a better team, the small glimpses of hope the Redskins gave their fans the four weeks before Monday night has a few hoping that, maybe, they can pull this one off. After all, it's Redskins-Cowboys. Throw the records out the window. Anything can happen, right?

Here's were we get to my confusion. I know that my football team is a bad football team. I know that there's going to have to be major changes made in the offseason for the organization to turn things around. I also have little faith in the people who are going to have to make those changes. Bruce Allen comes from a legendary football family, and actually has a nice football resume', but he still has to work for Dan Snyder. I do know one thing, that losing to the Cowboys makes the owner of the Redskins very mad. I'm sure that, witnessing a big Cowboys win, in his own stadium, a week after another division rival embarrassed his team at home, will enrage him, to the point that may ensure that those changes get made. To the point where he actually allows the football man he's hired to run the team, to run the team. I've never wanted the Redskins to lose a game, but can you see the bind I'm in? What to hope for? Instant gratification (I have a wing party at Hooters riding on this game!)? But, would a win give the clown calling the shots false hope for this team? Would he continue to think that they're only a few pieces away from a real contender? Or do I hope for the greater good, a rousing defeat at that hands of the hated rivals, and decisive change that may renew this once great franchise?

I know that, as a sports fan, I've never felt this way about any team I've ever supported.

How I really hate 'em.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Hey, It's Still Dallas Week!

Having suffered thru one of the worst games in one of the worst seasons in Redskins history you may be asking yourself..."what do I have left to root for?" Well, it's Dallas week, and a win this weekend against our most hated rivals can seriously screw up the Cowboy's playoff hopes.

This rivalry still means something and even when it seems the underdog in the series has no chance...the underdog always seems to rise to the occasion. In this case the Redskins are 6.5 point underdogs in their own house...and rightfully so after Monday night.

I'm hoping the Redskins show up on Sunday night and give me a late Christmas present and something to remember from the 2009 season. We're 4-10, what are you going to do? It is what it is. Let's beat the F'in Cowboys and look forward to 2010. HAIL!

Cheers and Hail

Monday, December 21, 2009

Skins/Giants MNF Recap


Are you F'in kidding me?

Help me baby jesus.

F me to tears!

I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it for myself.

Cheers and Hail

Friday, December 18, 2009

Lost In Translation


Look, we all know that the Redskin’s press conferences and press releases that happened yesterday have a certain amount of bull shit to them. Luckily for you, my valued reader…I have a bull shit detector/translator that I have used to put said “B.S.” into plain old English.

Vinny Cerrato:

"I'm thankful to Dan Snyder and other members of his ownership team for the opportunities I've been given over the years."


The biscuit wheels have come off this gravy train, I can no longer brown nose my way any longer.

"I've had the pleasure of working with some great coaches such as Joe Gibbs, Greg Blache and Sherman Lewis, great people on the Redskins staff, and, most especially, some of the best professional football players in the world. I wish them all the best," Cerrato said. "I've also had the privilege of working for a franchise supported by the most loyal fans in the NFL."


Jim Zorn is the asshole that got me fired…I gave him the best professional players in the world and he F’d it all up. And to the fans who started revolutions and made signs…you win.

Dan Snyder (on Vinny):

"More importantly, he is my friend, and he has always been there for me and the Redskins," Snyder said. "He's the consummate optimist and has always made decisions based on what would be the best for the team."


He’s a decent racquetball player who was crazy enough to think we could win with that offensive line.

"Obviously, Bruce has got the authority," Snyder said. "And when he makes a decision, the club makes a decision, it's a Redskins decision. ... I've not been as involved as people may have thought. In terms of the future, obviously we're going to be counting on Bruce to help lead the way."


This mess is Vinny’s…not mine. Moving forward Bruce will make the decisions (after I tell them what they are i.e. Shanahan.) The decisions will now be made under the new codeword “Redskins” decisions.

Dan Snyder (on Allen):

"Bruce Allen is the personification of an NFL winner," Snyder said. "Our fans know his heritage; we know his abilities. He is the right person to lead our club."


I’ve gone back to the glory days again…the fans loved it with Joe…my approval rating should rise instantly. I think I’ll wear my belt buckle to the press conference and buy Bruce and I matching ties.

Bruce Allen (on Jon Gruden):

"Well, we don't have an opening at that position," said Allen. "And I have a close relationship with hundreds of coaches in this league, but Jim Zorn is our coach. I met him two hours before meeting you here, so give us some time to see how our relationship develops."


I’m going to kiss Jim before I F him. And you guys are all wrong…the Danny wants Shanahan, not Gruden.

Cheers and Hail